I'll Protect You- MatchaBlossom

Chapter 8- I'll Always Love You

It's been six days since my fight with Cherry. Neither of us say much to each other, just "hi," "bye," and "I love you."

He seems mad at me, so I don't try to do anything. I'm afraid I'll fuck everything up even more than I have already.

At work that night, I stand behind the counter, and lean against the wall behind me. I close my eyes.

Someone walking into the restaurant wakes me up quickly. I freak out after realizing I dozed off. It's almost closing time.

"Oh, um welcome. I'll uh get you a table-" I look up, expecting to see someone I don't recognize, but instead lock eyes with a certain hazel-golden eyed redhead. "Oh it's just you, Reki."

"Hey, Joe," he replies blandly.

"Please call me Kojiro when we're not at S. Anyways, what brings you here?"

"I was just stopping by, and got a bit hungry."

"What'dya want?"

"Just some pasta."

"Coming right up."

I cook his meal, and bring it out to him. He sits at the bar/counter. (I'm not actually sure what it is)

"Thanks," he says.

"Is everything ok, kid? Did something happen?" I ask.

"No, everything's good. I just kinda wanted some company besides Langa. You're place is really comfortable. I like it. Plus, I wanted to check up on you."

"Check up on me?"

"Yeah, see how you and Cherry are doing and stuff. Haven't seen you much, besides Langa's beef last week, and we didn't get to talk too much. And I was a bit worried about you."

"Why were you worried about me?"

"Because I saw you at the hospital. You were really messed up. I could tell you'd barely slept, and you looked like you hadn't eaten much either."

"Well, me and Cherry are doing fine. And I'm good now too. Now that he's awake, everything's going good."

"Good."

Reki finished up his plate, then got up to leave. He got to the door, and the smile he had left his face. "There's no need to lie, Joe. I know what a person trying to hide their feelings is like. Trust me. I was that person. I know I'm just a teenager and you probably shouldn't listen to my advice, but don't fuck it up with Cherry. You both really love each other, that's apparent, and you're good for each other. Whatever's going on, figure it out. Like I said at the hospital, stop lying to yourself and saying you're fine when you're not. It doesn't help anyone. Whatever happened, it's nothing you won't be able to figure out together. There isn't much you can do to make him not love you anymore."

I'm stunned at his words. I just watch as he leaves the restaurant, letting the door close slowly behind him.

At home that night, Cherry is in my room, so I don't bother him. I figure he just doesn't want to talk to me. It's not until I finish making dinner do I say anything.

"Kaoru, I finished making dinner!" I shout down the hallway.

I set a plateful of food on either side of the table, with wine glasses next to them, along with silverware and napkins. It's nothing fancy, just a usual setup. After around a minute, I hear shuffling down the hall, then see Cherry step into the kitchen, and take a seat at the table. I sit opposite to him.

We sit in total silence, except for the scrape of silverware on plates. Once he finishes his glass of wine, I pour Cherry another.

I only pick at my food a bit, not really having much of an appetite. It's nothing really new anymore. I have no desire to eat, I'm scared to sleep, I work as much as possible, and I'm fucking up the only relationship I've ever had with the love of my life.

"You need to eat," Cherry finally says after what feels like eternity, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I'm not hungry," I reply while keeping my head down and continuing to just push my food around with my fork. It's a salad, one of my favorite foods, but I have absolutely no desire to eat it.

"You've been saying that every night. I know you well enough to know that you haven't eaten anything today, or really at all in the last week." He sighs. "Look, I'm sorry about pushing you to talk to me earlier, but I'm worried about you. You're not sleeping and you're barely eating. I just want to know what's wrong."

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing. And you didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault. I'm sorry for lying, I just don't know what to tell you. I don't want to say anything out loud because I'm scared that it'll make it true. I don't want you to know what's wrong with me. But I also don't want to worry you. I just don't know."

"You don't have to tell me right now, it's ok. Just tell me when your ready, that's all I ask."

I sigh. "I don't know if I'll ever be ready though."

"I just want you to know that I'll always love you no matter what, and nothing will ever make me feel less about you."

You say that now, but will you be able to after I tell you? I think silently.

I take my plate to the sink, rinse it off, then walk to the bedroom. I quickly throw off my work uniform, and slip a pair of pyjama pants on. Then I just stand there, doing nothing but letting my mind wander. My thoughts are quickly gone though, when I hear Cherry stumble into the room, barely holding himself up.

I rush to him and hold out my arm, which he grabs onto. "You shouldn't be pushing yourself to walk like that. It could make your condition worse," I say worriedly.

I start walking him over to the bed. When we get there, I lay him down softly. I go to the other side of the bed, and lay down as well, my back to him. I feel the bed move as he crawls up behind me. His arms snake around my stomach, and his head rests on my shoulder. I place my big hands over his, completely covering them.

"I love you. No matter whats happening with me, just know that I still love you, and none of this has to do with you. You've done nothing wrong," I whisper, trying to stop at least a bit of the guilt from eating away at me.

He leans his head down, and kisses me on the shoulder gently. "I love you too. I hope that you'll be able to trust me enough to tell me what's wrong soon. I hate seeing you in pain like this and not being able to help."

After a bit of silence, Cherry falls asleep. I don't. I just lay there in the painful silence, trying to force myself to stay awake.

After a few hours, I begin to struggle. I hadn't slept in days, and it was starting to wear on me. My eyelids started to sag from laying so comfortably and in a position where I could easily fall asleep.

Don't go to sleep, I tell myself. Don't do it. You'll regret it.

The arms wrapped around my waist tighten suddenly. Cherry presses himself into my bare back. "Please try and go to sleep. Reki told me when he stopped by the restaurant earlier, you were asleep. This isn't healthy. You need to sleep. I'm afraid something might happen if you're too tired. I need you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you."