Good, not perfect {Deexy/n}

Isolation

The last bell, The bell that signals "it's time to go home!" I like that bell.

I start to pack my bag and then I grab my water and leave the class. Walking out of the door I look around and see everyone meet up with their friends. Walking, laughing, I wish I had a friend to walk with here.

I leave the building through the doors and look around outside. Seeing that kid from earlier sitting on the bench I was this morning. I walk past him, I want to get home.

After a couple minutes of walking I see my house, unlocking the door and stepping inside, taking my shoes off by the door and walking up stairs.

I go to my bathroom to wash my face and then get in the shower. Washing the day away. Washing imperfections away. Washing everything away. I don't like to feel dirty.

After my shower I grab a light pink towel and dry off before putting on a pair of dark green sweatpants 2x my size and a grey hoodie.

I go to get my phone and lay in my bed, I like my bed. My bed is comfy. It's nice here. I grab my remote and turn on "Stockholm Pennsylvania" I like that movie.

I start to hear my cat scratching at the door, I get up going to open it and then bend down to pick her up. "Hi willow.." I mumble out softly and give her a kiss on the head before, shutting the door and carrying her to my bed.

Laying back down in my bed and willow starts to climb over me and then lay on my back. I take a photo, up load it on my instagram story and then turn my attention back to the movie.

My eyes open, I look around. I fell asleep during the movie. What's the time?

8:24.

I should make dinner.

I walk downstairs and see my mom and dad on their room. They look tired. I won't bother them for dinner.

I grab a bowl and spoon and then a can of tomato soup. I put the soup in the bowl and then just throw it in the microwave to make it easier.

3 minutes later I take it out w second earlier so the microwave doesn't beep and my parents stay asleep.

My hand reach's my spoon and then I walk back to my room.

Sitting back on my bed. I turn on "the amazing world of gumball" and then start eating my soup. I take a photo of my bowl and post it on my instagram story and then go back to eating.

After finishing I set the bowl on the table near my bed and lay my head down.

I grab my phone and make sure my alarm for the morning is set. It is. What time is it set for?

5:30

Good. I won't be late.

I shut the alarm clock app and then open my, "I am sober" app. How long have I been sober for?
3 months.

3 months without the blade.
3 months since I switched school.
3 months since I've seen him.
3 months since it all ended.

I can stay clean this time. I can do it. I'm okay.

I set my phone down and then open the sun window above my bed and grab a cigarette. I climb out to the roof with my cigarette and then realize I didn't grab a lighter.

My body jumps back down onto my bed, grabbing a lighter and then climbing back onto the roof.

I light my cigarette and take a hit. Looking at the street below. People walking around hand in hand. People hanging out with their friends. People walking their dog.

They look like they're having a fun time.

I finish one cigarette, then move to another. One more, then I'll be done.

I finished the cigarette an the threw the butt of it on the roof somewhere. I hopped back down onto my bed and shut my window.

Grabbing my phone, turning on my liked playlist. It's time for bed.

I change into something more comfortable and then lay my head down on my pillow, cuddling my cat and fall asleep.