Groundhog

The alarm clock pulled him back to the land of the living with a jarring wail. Jeff opened his eyes begrudgingly and turned it off. He thought about going back to bed. He let out a defeated sigh and crawled out of bed.

He started his day like any other day: coffee and the newspaper. He got dressed while the coffee maker did it's job. The smell of fresh brew taunted him from the kitchen. Never mind that now, which tie should he go with? There was the red one with the stripes or the solid blue one? He chose the red one. He heard Fran at the office loved red. He would have to start a conversation with that somehow. Ugh, that's so lame. You're going to be a virgin forever, Jeffrey H. Newmeck. He sniffed the air. Right, coffee.

He sat at the table, as he always did when he woke up. Sipping his coffee and reading the paper. His cat, Chester, sat on his lap. What is this world coming to? Russia has relapsed back into their old ways, and no one is doing a thing about. They're lucky he's not president, he'd nuke their asses back to the stone ages. And what the fuck is going on with the Cubs? Letting us fans down once again, I see. Chester meowed in agreement.

On the way to work he spotted a homeless man on the side of the road. He held a sign that said "the end is the end is the end is the end". He seemed to be out of it. Until Jeff passed him. He could have sworn that guy winked at him. Naw, he's still drooling on himself. Fucking drunk...

He pulled into work and parked at the same spot he always had for over 5 years. He got out and seen Fran walking in. He thought about calling out to her. Naw. Too lame. What would he even say? He sighed and walked inside.

Jeff loved his job. He was an accountant. Numbers was his thing. Rembrandt painted, Beethoven composed, and Jeff had a way with numbers. He saved the company 5 million bones last year alone. The company he worked for, Salvador Inc., sold computer supplies. He was supervisor to the accounting wing. He had 4 people under him. Slackers, mostly, but he somehow got a lot of work out of them. They probably slagged him behind his back. He wasn't there to make friends. He had a job to do.

All work and no play. The Warden is what they called him, according to Jill in HR. What they didn't realize is he loved his job. Not because of the people and definitely not because of the company he worked for. He hated this shithole. However, he loved figuring out mathematic equations. and even did so outside of work, just for fun. Numbers made sense to him. People didn't. He was a dork. A 30 year old genius who had no clue how to even talk to women he was attracted to. He just clams up. He shuts down and ends up looking like a moron. One time in high school, he tried to ask this really cute girl in algebra to the dance. He ended up having a panic attack before he could get the words out. She ended up going with someone else. Smooth.

He finished his work 4 hours into the shift, as usual, and spent the next hour in his office, and doodling crude cartoons or doing math problem. His boss, Max, came barging in, red faced and sweaty as usual.

"Jeff, what the fuck are you doing? Find something to do. " Max barked at him, walking out before Jeff could even respond. Fucking asshole.

Jeff managed to white knuckle his way through another soul crushing shift. 5 o clock is freedom o clock. Most of his coworkers went home and drank the night away or got stoned and played video games. He played solitaire on the computer. Chester watched.

He played for hours, finally throwing in the towel to make some food. He put water on the stove and turned the burner on high. He went to the cupboard. No ramen noodles. Damn. He then went to the pantry, where he sometimes kept food when there wasn't enough room. He opened the door to find a man with a pantyhose on his face staring back at him. He could see a dark goatee underneath the hosiery. Mr Pantyhose had a semi automatic assault rifle, pointed at Jeff's chest. After seconds under the guise of hours, the man pulled the trigger. The kitchen lay splattered with blood, and shrapnel, and ramen noodles. The world grew cold. The world grew dark.