LOST EVERYTHING

Chapter 9

I gasped as I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. I sat up as I place my hands on my chest, as I felt the fast rate at which my heart was beating.

The last thing I remembered was a gun being pointed at me and then the bullet coming for me.

It was just a nightmare.

Oh thank God!

The amount of relief I felt was so much. I was just so happy. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. Some things explained some of the things in my dream.

I realised there was a sharp pain coming from my shoulder I felt the part that was hurting, and it felt wet for some reason and hurt even more when I touched it. Then I remembered that there was a wound on it. It was one I had gotten from my abuser, but Chase didn't see it.

I my bedsheets or blanket might have scratched the fragile wound and it started bleeding again, while I was tossing and turning in my sleep.

That explains why it hurt when I was shot. But man, dreams can exaggerate pain too much.

I was sweating like a pig, with my clothes and blanket sticking to my skin, which explained the part where I was running in the rain. And I was sure I was not returning to sleep again. I am so glad it wasn't real. I was right. It was just to bad to be true.

I had calmed down after sometime. I was extremely sleepy and desprate to let dreamland take over, but I was too scared to go back to sleep. I felt like another nightmare was on it's way.

This whole thing is just eating me alive. I have to keep him in the dark, yes it would be easier for him to help if he knew what was going on, and who was causing my pain, but at the same time, I am not positive that he'll be able to deal with it in time. I can't risk anything. I can only suffer in silence, for idk how long, but as long as I have him, I am ok.

Even though I was extremely happy that he was alive, and everything was fine, I still couldn't help the tears that formed in my eyes.

I can't believe I almost cracked. I can't believe almost let him lose his life. I mean, yes it wasn't real, but I did tell him in the nightmare, meaning I was about to tell him in real life.

Knowing that I wasn't going to return to sleep, I felt the table next to my bed, trying to find my phone. When i did, I checked the time hoping it was almost morning.

I was out of luck because when I checked the time it was only 1:43 am. I returned the phone to the desk as I run my hand down my face in frustration.

I rested my head back on my pillow as I felt a tear slowly slide down my cheek. I sniffed as I let out a sigh of relief.

I took in a relaxing deep breath. It is just so relieving to know it wasn't real life, but at the same time is scares me about real life. What if I actually did tell him, then what?

I closed my eyes as I remembered most of the dream, it was just so frightening. Flashes of my brother with blood dripping on his face, him getting shot and dying. I could feel my heart beating so fast, felt like it's shape was even showing on my chest.

Tears started to form in my eyes again, I didn't even bother wiping them off. I've been crying a lot lately and I am sick of it, but I can't help that I love my brother and I am worried about him. I can't help that I have to deal with anxiety everyday.

Every day for me is a gift. I know everyone says that you should live everyday like it is your last, but when they do, for one they don't actually remember to do that everyday, and even if they do it most days, they are just trying to be as happy as they can be and get as many things ticked off their bucket list as they can.