Postmortem

Twelve Days After

    I looked in the mirror to make sure my black dress hung correctly. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, showing my tear stained cheeks. Today I would be attending Nicki's funeral. I looked upset, like a grieving girl who just lost a best friend. Another tragic death with no time to recover from the first one.
    I went downstairs and found a note from my parents; "we're sorry for your loss, but we couldn't make it to the funeral. We'll be back late tonight, food's in the fridge. -mom and dad"
    I sighed, disappointed but not surprised. Then I grabbed my car keys and left.
    The funeral was where most funerals are, a graveyard. I had a funny feeling upon arrival, like the hole left in my soul from dying was expanding. The feeling spread through my body. I shivered, but walked over to the funeral procession all the same.
    The first people I saw were Nicki's parents. They were standing by the closed black casket, sobbing. A nice picture of Nicki was standing, framed by a flower wreath, next to her parents. Her mother's hand extended, shaking, to trace her daughter's face in the picture. Then she broke down into another fit of tears.
    Nicki's parents had always been nice to me. Because of that I should probably feel bad for doing this to them, but since I came back I haven't felt a thing. The cold has bothered me no more and sleep has become an unnecessary commodity. Maybe I always felt like this, I just never noticed.   
    But no, this kind of emptiness is a chasm to be filled inside of me, and killing the ones responsible should do just that. I would surely have noticed it if I felt this way when I was alive. Surely.
    Just then I noticed Luna and Bruno, crying near the back of the funeral goers. Bruno's arm was around her, rubbing her back as a means of comfort. I was sure to be teary eyed before trekking my way over to them. Neither of them noticed me until I stood beside them.
    "I can't believe it. I just can't. How could she do this?" I asked desperately, keeping my voice quiet so as not to disrupt the grief stricken people around me. Bruno glared at me for a moment before his expression softened. He released Luna, who was staring at me with alarm, and opened his arms to me. I let out a cry as I stepped into his hold, burying my face in his shoulder.
    He put his mouth right beside my ear, I felt his breath quivering before he spoke.
    "I know you did this. I know it was you. I don't know how you came back, but I damn sure know why now. We killed you once, don't think we won't do it again." He released me and I stepped back. He was looking at me expectantly. Maybe he expected me to beg for my life like I had before, or maybe to admit I had killed Danni and Nicki, out of guilt or fear.
    That was always Bruno's problem. He saw people as things to be predicted, things to remain unchanging. He can say he killed me for an experience all he likes, but I know the truth. He wanted to feel powerful. In charge of the situation, before he could no longer predict me. His problem is still holding him back, and it is why I will always beat him at this game.
    I looked at him, and smiled a watery smile while sniffling. "Thanks, Brun. I needed a hug. I just wish she'd talked to us, Yknow? Maybe we could have helped." I turned to Luna, taking her stiff hand in mine. "And how are you holding up honey? I mean, first Danni and now Nic... well it's like a curse, isn't it?" I pondered tearfully as they both noticeably stiffened. Their heartbeats sped as they understood my implication. If it was first Danni, then Nicki, they would be next.
    I turned to face the coffin as the burial process began. Various people close to Nicki said kind words, including Luna. Then we all stepped up to put flowers on her casket, and a priest from Nicki's church said a blessing. I thought about what I was doing and how I felt, which was nothing. I felt nothing.
    If I continued doing what I was, I would likely continue getting worse. Taking someone's beating heart from them darkens your soul, like a stain. And my soul is black, black, black.
    But if feeling this way is the price of my revenge, it is well worth it. That's what I told myself while they sunk Nicki's coffin into the ground, anyway.