THE VAMPIRE UNDERGROUND

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Ash stepped out of his Beetle, walked slowly down the pavement so as not to slip and slam his head against the icy concrete, and made his way inside Grisly Video, only one of two video rental places still open in town, and the only one that stayed open after eight on the weekend.  

He nodded to Kurt, the store owner, who said, “Hey Ash. Haven’t seen you here since... yesterday.”

“Actually it’s been two days,” Ash said.

“Really?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Well you’ve already rented enough movies in January to pay for your monthly subscription, so everything from here on out is free until February.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

Kurt, who at a tall six-foot-six commanded the room, laughed and started organizing some DVDs on the counter. “It doesn’t hurt to remind you, but remember, you can only rent two movies a day. That’s the rule.”

“Duh.”

“Oh, and I got a few new horror DVDs in today, if you’re interested.”

“Yeah? What are they?”

“We got the umpteenth new special edition of Evil Dead 2. Especially for you, Ash.”

Ash smiled. “Well, thank you.”

“Let’s see. We got Audrey Rose, Return of the Living Dead, Bride of Re-Animator, Human Centipede 3.”

“They made a third one?” Ash said.

“Oh. And we got two copies of the vampire flick Let Me In. It’s a remake of Let the Right One In.”

“Is that horror? Looked more like a love story.”

“You should check it out. It’s really good.”

“I don’t know. I’ve had enough of the vampire genre for one week.” Ash approached the counter and sighed, looking up at the New Releases promo on the white board. “It’s sad, really. Let me guess. You have the one copy of Evil Dead 2.”

Kurt nodded. “That’s correct.”

“And answer me this: How many copies of the new Twilight movie did you get? A thousand? A million? Twenty-six billion?”

“Ninety-seven.”

“Ninety-seven? That’s ridiculous!”

“You wanna know what’s more ridiculous?” Kurt sat up on the counter. His casual behavior didn’t seem to matter; only two other customers were in the store. “Ninety-seven people will rent Twilight. And nobody will rent Evil Dead 2.”

“That’s sad.”

“It sucks.”

“It’s a comment on our culture, isn’t it?” Ash looked like he wanted to cry. “Vampires aren’t meant to be lovey-dovey. They’re meant to be scary. Vampires are supposed to be freakin’ scary!”

A woman in her early thirties tiptoed up to the front counter, a copy of the newest Twilight DVD in her hand. “Umm… I couldn’t help but overhear,” she said, “but I think your guys’ problem is that you’re out of touch.”

“Excuse me?” Ash said, crossing his arms.

The woman flipped her blonde hair back and smiled proudly. “I’m not gonna stand here and admit the Twilight movies are Citizen Kane. But they’re entertaining… they’ve got action and comedy and romance… the most beautiful actors… everything you could want in a movie. They make me happy.”