On 30th of November my parents and older sister and I usually head back to our home town Summerset . Summerset is a small town up coast in the countryside far away from the city we stay, we go to Summerset for winter holidays to visit family (mostly my grandparents). My sister and I were born there but we moved to the city for my mums and dads job, I was about 5 and my sister was 10 when we moved to our two bedroomed apartment in the city. We promised Gran and papa grandpa we would visit them every winter holiday. So now for the past 4 years we have been going to have winter break with our grandparents, I quite like it actually because I get my old room back and my sister has her own room too. Although we did move to the city I still really miss my home town I didn't really have any friends there but I did know everybody and though I still have no friends in the city I still feel out of place, I don't mind having no friends I actually prefer it that way to be honest but in the city it just feels different like isolating but it can't be isolating when it's so loud and busy and filled with laughter and loud emotions being expressed through words out loud which form conversations. Maybe it's just me, maybe I am the only one who feels like this. Mum says it's not good for me not to talk to people at school and to keep quiet, she says "Cathal it's not healthy for you not talk to kids in class, your 9 years old you're supposed to building life long friends at this age!" But I do try talk but whenever I try to I sometimes don't get the words out and end up making a weird awkward sound or start talking really quiet and I don't think the kids in my class like me very much, they look at me weirdly and scatter away when I do try approach them. Thats why I love the 30th of November, because then my mum will be too busy worrying how we are going to head to Summerset at a decent time with no traffic and never bothering me about making friends there since I'm always out for walks to read in the park or walking around town for fun. ———————————————————————————————————————————————————————— "Mum I'm going for a quick walk I'll be back in 20 minutes!"Aisling says loudly while putting on her coat and getting down to put on her shoes, "may I come with please?" I say looking at her putting her shoes on. She looks up and gives a smile and gives an approving nod, she then stands up and shouts "Mum Cath is coming with me!", for about a minute mum doesn't respond but then says "Okay sounds good you kids have fun, and Cathy please remember to put on something warm before you go!". I rush to my room and put on warm clothes and grab my winter boots, then go to the front door to where my sister is and grab her hand and we walk out together. At first the coldness stings my cheeks but not in a bad way, in a sort of comforting way. We walk for about two minutes and then suddenly stop, Aisling looks up to the sky while snow falls down in her face and says "Cathal.." I turn to her with panic and think to my self "she never calls me by my full name" but then notice tears rolling down on her face and with not knowing how to react or to respond I just hum yes in response, she turns to me and wipes her face and smiles and then says "I can't wait to just leave this city." I understand her, I understand what she feels. "I can't wait too." I say softy and then start walking at her pace.
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"I can't wait to escape this this feeling of isolation and derealization." I think to myself and continue walking.
