It was always you

Chapter 5

I will say this now,  as I might have before, Aaron's voice had a strange hold on me.

It had begun to make a place in my bones from the very first time we met-on that hurried morning when Jasper had first introduced us. 

Far after that morning, his eyes and voice remained with me in a way few memories did-clear, distinct, as if I was actively experiencing them repeatedly and not just revisiting them in the annals of my own mind.

Yet that afternoon, as the wind chimed warningly through the trees and the overcast skies tried to scare me away, under the shade of the grey day, fingers chilling despite my gloves and time ticking away too hurriedly, as he talked to me, his voice burrowed deeper within me, as if contracted ( and vigilantly tasked) to make a home in me as soon as it could lest...lest I escape unscathed.

It was his hook in me, his voice, latched deep within my marrow. To pull me to him at his preference, always at the risk of him pulling it out completely leaving only a bleeding mess behind.

A wound that could never close. Maybe would never be.

Under the blanket of the grey clouds, it was as if him and I existed in a pocket of time outside of the world around us, where time moved both too fast and too slow. And the space we occupied remained walled off from that around us.

In a parallel dimension where nothing could intrude on us.

"So, I hear from Jas that your work with the new-letter has been very promising, " there was a hint of smirk in his words, as if they meant more than he said. Enough of it to draw my focus away from the notes of his baritone and towards his words.

"That is kind of him, I am glad my senior is happy with my work."

A frown, giving away to brow raised further, "Senior? Jasper tells it as if you are on better terms than for a perfunctory term as that to be used."

Now it was my turn to frown, "Jasper...is a good editor-in-chief and very good at guiding the team through tough spots. And for that leadership I appreciate him, the whole team does."

Nothing more, nothing less existed between us is what I meant.

"That is quite a diplomatic answer."

"I am sorry, was there ever a question made?"

His lips curved higher, "Touché. There wasn't one, but now I don't have to worry about hiding from him the guy you often bring to your place."

My reaction was instant. My muscles tensed, my teeth grit, and for the first time since I'd known him, I regretted being close enough to him to hear his words. Not the last time though. "Courteous, that idea, if only I cared what you two talked about or not. Though if I wasn't discussed at all, I'd be glad."

"Hey,  sorry. I meant no offence by any of my words. It is just an awkward place to be in, hearing your best friend wax on about a girl who might or might not be in relationship."

I clenched my jaw, unsure how to respond, not appreciating that my doubts on Jasper's treatment of me were right (his interest was too much, too strong), not sure how to feel about being discussed by the two, very unsettled by Aaron's nonchalance at the idea of my relationship. That last though was maybe the most illogical emotion churning in me right then along with the thousand others.

He kept looking at me questioningly though, expecting some answer but, "I am sorry, but again was there a question in there somewhere?"

He bit his lip then, and half of my annoyance fled at that sight. Did this man have any idea what the sight was doing to my insides? "Ok, here is the question then. The guy at your apartment, is he your boyfriend?"