Explaining myself

Some poetry

So I just want to add a little not before I type this one out. *I am not suicidal.* I wrote this poem because I'll die before I change myself again. The ending is about being a martyr for what I believe in. So please don't freak out thinking I'm committing suicide. Because it's not funny and it's not something to romanticize about in poetry. But here you go!

She took a deep breath,
She counted to three
A picture in her head,
Of who they wanted me to be.

They wanted me to be normal,
Happy and kind.
They never thought,
That this girl would be blind.

Not blind by the meaning,
But blind in the heart.
Blinded by darkness,
Blinded by dark.

She walks around lifeless,
Her heart beating but dead.
A walking corpse
she is lost inside her head.

Things have no meaning,
At least not anymore.
She was not how she was,
How she was once before.

She is one of the living
But one of the dead.
A part of her is missing.
She hangs on by a thread.

She hung her head low
took one final bow
she stepped off the edge
Saying one final vow.

"I will not change who I am
As hard as any of you try
This is me giving up
This is one last goodbye."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But now that there's a sad poem, how about a happy one! Well, sort of.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Timeless thoughts of a winter's stare;
eyes gazing over a landscape bare.

Memories drift on a blustery breeze;
dying light ushers in the freeze.

Reaching out for a grasp on the present;
stillness sets in, alone, and desolate.

Future unknown, outcome uncertain;
brilliance shadowed by a drawn curtain.

Path now set, laid before me known;
closing light now emanating from home.

Enter my homestead, heart filled with glee;
two eyes of the future peering upward at me.

Trusting in him to forge forward until fulfilled;
Basis of strength, values I have instilled.

A weary mind at last permitted to rest;
reflecting on the realization of how I am blessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks for reading! Love you guys <3
-TotallyRadPineapples