The Teammate

13 - God Damn the Consequences

July 2024 - Austrian Grand Prix

Max couldn't find the words, not in English or in Dutch, to describe the rush of emotions that had gone through him from the first moment he heard his name.

At first, it was like a whisper on the wind, as if it had been conjured by his own mind, but then it came again, this time louder. It was impossible not to recognize the voice as if someone had poured ice water down his spine. His eyes darted around in desperation. He wasn't sure what he expected to find. There was a part of him convinced his own mind had conjured it up, just a sick joke his brain played on himself. There was no owner of that voice, not here, not in Austria.

Then there was the underlying hope, the same way that had dwindled away over the weeks and months. The hope that every time he walked into a new room, or around a corner, she would be there.

No, this was definitely a dream.

Except for one discrepancy. In his dream, she was just the same as he had last seen her. Her hair was long and shimmering in the sunlight, her eyes big and blue and those limbs were toned and tanned. Never in any dream, had he imagined her so frail and so fragile. Never had he dared picture her with the dark circles under her eyes, or the flat heaviness of her hair. She had lost weight, a lot of it, her fingers long and bony as she brought them to her lips. Those lips that parted when their eyes met.

"Bella." He breathed, turning he shoved his way through the crowd. Not bothering to pay attention to the protests or the rude remarks. All he cared about was getting to her before she floated away on the wind before she disappeared, or he realized that she was someone else. That his mind had stamped her face onto the face of someone similar.

That's how it happened in his dreams, he would see her, run to her, and then she would be gone. Replaced by the reality; she was lying in a coma miles and miles from him.

However, instead of moving away from him, she was moving toward him. They were getting close, and when he reached her, she threw her arms around him, bringing their bodies together. It took him a few seconds to realize that this was too cruel to be a dream.

"I'm sorry I didn't call." She said snapping him out of whatever trance he had been in. Arabella leaned back, just enough to look at his face. Max was at a loss for words, his entire body still trying to process what was happening. "I knew if I did, you'd drop everything, and it's race weekend." His head was shaking, his tongue trying to form words.

"I..." She smiled, and the sight of it took his breath away. "I can't believe it." It was all the worried he could manage as she ran a hand along the side of his face. "Bella, I'm so sorr..." He didn't get to finish his sentence as she pressed her lips to his.

Despite how amazing it felt, he pulled back almost instantly. There had been a hundred different ways he had imagined this moment; this had never been one of them. It didn't make any sense. None. She shouldn't want this, didn't want this, that much he was sure of. Not to mention Kelly.

Kelly.

He couldn't do this. Shouldn't be doing this. But, her face was confused, almost hurt that he had pulled away. The one emotion that was missing, was regret. She knew what she was doing.

She was awake.

"Bella I..." he trailed off not knowing how to tell her, not knowing if he could or even wanted to form the words.

"Max, just kiss me." She placed a hand on the center of his chest. "Levi told me we broke up, that something happened around the time of my father's funeral, but I don't care. Whatever happened, I don't care anymore." Her breathing was heavy, and the corner of her mouth twitched upwards. "Max, just kiss me." She whispered.