The Teammate

33 - Brush of His Fingertips Across Her Cheek

December 2024 – Netherlands

Arabella hadn't been 100% sure where she was going when she got into her far. Seb questioned her when she just dumped her bags inside the door and grabber her keys, but she didn't have an answer for him. Katie stopped him from going after her, but not Vlad who slid into the passenger seat beside her without saying a word.

It didn't bother her that he was there, it was almost a comfort. He couldn't be too thrilled that she had decided to take a drive after getting off such a long flight, especially with everything happening with her head, and neither was she. So having him there as an insurance policy took all the nerves and left way for every other emotion that was bombarding her.

She pulled into the cemetery in Hoorn stupidly early in the morning. Everything was covered in a thin layer of early morning frost, and some of the gravestones still had little piles of snow collected around them. There was a light fog, coating the ground as the sun starting to poke out from the horizon.

"Hi mom." She said, after leaving Vlad sleeping in the car. "Hi dad." A familiar ache spread threw her chest as she leaned down to brush the snow off from the base of their stones. There were flowers there, looked a few days old and she smiled at the thought of her brother visiting them.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around. I'd like to blame it on my accident, but the truth is I've been avoiding this place." She motioned around us, still crouched in front of them. "Hoorn. Home." She took a shaky breath. "I don't know what to do." Her voice was barely above a whisper, tears started to pool in her eyes. She closed her eyes, fighting back the sobs that threatened to overtake her. "And I just needed my mom." Her voice completely broke as she wrapped her arms around herself falling to her knees. The wet ground soaking her knees.

She cried for her lost memories, for her lost parents. The life that she had lost. The relationships, the people she had turned her back on without knowing. The people she loved who had continued to live while she remained frozen in time. She sobs as feelings of betrayal and hopelessness threatened to overtake her. Betrayal because no one told her, no one explained it to her. Hopelessness because how could they? Arabella had ben sick, and they were terrified to lose her again. Her heart broke, the type of break she didn't know how to deal with. The type of break she just needed her mom to help heal.

All the moments from the last few months were on repeat in her head, mixed with the memories that had started to come back. The worst was the emotions, the feelings. The love she felt for someone who she had treated so horribly after she woke up. It shattered her thinking back to all the emotions in his eyes that she didn't know how to place, but now, now she knew.

She had broken Lando's heart. Shattered it. Hurt him so much more than she ever thought she was capable of.

So, Arabella cried until the sun rose in the sky, and there was nothing left inside her. Until every emotion she had hid from her friends, from herself, were out. Dripping onto the grass at the graves of her mother and father. The knees of her leggings were soaked through, and her legs starting to go numb from kneeling so long. Tears had started to freeze to her face, and her breath danced in front of her.

She'd been vaguely aware of the car door opening and closing a little while ago, and someone walking towards her now. "I miss them too." She nearly jumped, not expecting that voice to be who had walked up. She was so emotionally and physically exhausted it took a lot of effort to turn and glance over her shoulder. "They're great listeners." Her brother said, holding two takeout cups from the café down the street in his mitt covered hands. He also had a blanket over his shoulder.

"She always was." She admitted, as he held a cup out to her. "How'd you know I was here?" She took it, and with his newly free hand he placed the blanket around her shoulders.