MOVIE

Ignorance

Elementary days I was bullied for having a long forhead and a flat nose, but that's not it. I was attempted rape at the age of 8 by my father bestfriend's son and at the age of 10 by my uncle at our province. I didn't actually tell someone because I didn't know that was illegal. I saw his thing sticking out at his pants and I just stood there thinking it was normal. Until my biggest fear and trouble comes. Age of 12 he lived with us as our driver. He take and get me to school. One night it was a festival in our barangay. "Isla come on the gay pagent is starting" my aunt yelled at me outside "You go ahead it will take 10 more minutes" I shouted as I pick my clothes for my uncle to wear at his talent portion. "Got it" as I pulled the tshirt out of the dresser and ran out the basketball court where the pagent is going. "Mama is this okay.?" I asked my aunt "Yeah that could be it" she agreed and asked me to take it to my uncle back stage. The show was starting we we're having fun. Laughed at the contestants jokes, performance and flirting. After that we had a small disco nothing's new it's always like that. After a while I got tired and excuse my self to go home. I was looking for my mom but I didn't see her so I just went home watch tv and waited for my mom to get home. Until that accident happen....

"PSTT WHO'S THAT" as my grandmother shouted. She came down stairs and tried to wake me up but I was in the deep sleep so she slapped me so hard that I came to my senses "Isla why did you sleep here" my grandma ask me "No I wasn't I was waiting for mom here and then I smelled something and I didn't realized I fallen asleep" as I explained to my grandma what I remembered that have happened. She cried and said "Good thing he didn't do anything to you but his milk is in the couch and your legs and your short was torn appart" It really didn't sank down to me as I was still sleepy and didn't understand a thing. So I just stand up and continue sleeping upstairs with my grandma. That happening came off my mind as I still hanging out with that jerk like nothing happen. "Road trip.?" My uncle ask "I would loved to but my grandma wouldn't let me" I answered sadly "Okay maybe next time" He answered as I nodded. Months goes by, like nothing happen and my grandma didn't talk about that or open it to me or even shared it. Ber months have come. I talked to my fav cousin on the phone "When will you get here.?" I asked "maybe in the 24th or 23rd of December" he replied. "Oh great I already wrapped your present I hope you have mine" as I chuckled " Nice I'm still thinking for your gifts" he replied " I better go to sleep it's 10 pm already" as I yawn "It's still early" he replied with sad face "My bed time is 9 I already passed it there's always next time" as I waved goodbye and end the call and tuck my self in bed. My birthday came days after we talk and I felt a princess but still something is messing, at the age of 5 that was the last time I spent my bday with my dad. He only comes home once in 2 years so I understand it but I still wishes he did come to my bday tho-...Days go by and 24th came and it's the day my fav cousin will be here. I was really excited cause I didn't see him for such a long time already. "ISL" as my cousin shouted "ERWIIIIN" shouting his name while running and we hugged "I missed you" he said " I miss you too" I replied. We do this everytime we meet. I really thought it was normal for cousin to do that, btw his older with me by 2 years. We talked and all, we acted like lovers.... He napped at my lap, I comb his hair as he fall asleep. I really thought that was normal. In the evening my grandma talked to me " could you please get away with him he planned on something not good for you" my grandma asked me politely "Chillax grandma its fine hes my closest cousin so it normal" as I finished my food " Good night grandma" as I kissed her and went to my room. I was excited for the midnight I napped a bit so I could stay awake later. 11:00 "Isla get ready we're going to the church" as she shouted from the other house "Okay be there in a min." I replied. We got to church and no more chairs left to sit but the edges has bench so we sitted there at the time the lights turn off to start the play where mama mary walk down the aisle with st.Joseph scene he grabbed my hands and hold it I was shooked but I was okay with it. It's nothing new, as the light turn on he let go to my hand. After the mass we got home and it 11:55 so he waited and waited and waited

MERRY CHRISTMAS as we shouted. Blow some horns and we head outside to watch the fireworks after that we eated and I was outside in the dark sitting alone for some reason "Here you go have a drink" as he handed me the wine. I gulped the drink "Damn do you want more.?" He asked "Sure" I agreed. As the time goes by I already had drank tons of wines with different flavor "Damn this one bitter" I told him "Here have mine I can't finish it" as he handed me the glass. I drank it and after a moment my head spins. We talk after a while he said "Isl let's go to the roof top no ones there we can talk more" he suggested "Naaah I'm good I can't climb the stairs my head's spinning already" I replied. I swear I saw him smirk and then touch my hips "come on I'm gonna take you home" as he whispered in my ears. We walked home " Isla come on get inside" lola shouted from the bathroom. "Go inside, your grandma's waiting"as he let go of me. "OHHH I thought you we're coming with me" "NAH maybe next time okay.?" I replied  as he turn his back and disappear into the darkness. I was sleepy so I head to my bedroom and slept. When I woke up my head was hurting and get up to drink some water.

After a month, I take a nap in the couch cause I have my cousins in the living room with me.. When I woke up feeling something being pushed down in my butt area. As I open my eyes. I saw him putting his pants up and sat down looking at his cellphone like nothing happen. So at that moment I was thinking oh probably I'm just dreaming. I tilt my head up and looked at my cousin holding my sister and was looking straight at the tv. As the moment passed by that event it started to sank down. I went to my room and cried. No one's home, that I could share to. So I just have mental breakdown and all that happen flashback that wasn't normal, I cried until I fell asleep. I was zoom out most of the time
After that incident, I didn't speak to anyone about what happen that day. I was out of myself I focus my self in gadgets played day and night watch anime night until dawn. Just to keep that memory out of my head until I slowly got tired day by day until I decided to break my self to gadgets "Isl could you help mami with this modules.?" My grandma ask "sure mami" as I enter her house. She was the mother of my father if your wondering. "Could you please finish this I need to passed this tomorrow but I got to go somewhere something urgent came" mami requested " Sure mami I have nothing to do anyways" I replied. I regretted that I agreed left home alone in her house. Minutes later when I only have Four modules to checked my drunk tito was staring at me. When I finally notice it he came and started begging for kisses. He was like that to me so I thought nothing of it and I just think of it like " He just misses his daughter that just died" and give in for a kiss in the checks until I got woken up when he asked for a kiss in the lips and I disagree. When he hears his wife calling him he got up and went to her. I was shaking I quickly finish the modules and after that I didn't dare to go out again. So I did my past hobbies again I became an introvert.

I couldn't save my old self, it's gone... long gone..