Project You (HIATUS)

Chapter 45

Summer and I don't go to the party with the guys.

Why?

Because we're far too exhausted to even think about it, and we know next weeks party is gonna be even bigger than this weeks one, specifically because it was the very last game for them.

And we were mentally preparing ourselves for that party because we knew it would be, well, freaking exhausting.

And since everyone knew Karsen and I were dating now, I was not ready to be out of the house, and I didn't want to step into the shoes of an extrovert just because I was dating an extrovert, so I was instead snuggled in a blanket on Summers couch while she was on the other couch, legs crossed and popcorn on her lap.

She was very into the movie we were watching.

I on the other hand, was not.

I was thinking about my mother, and partially Karsen.

My mom asked me to come home after the game so we could talk. So I sent her a text saying i'd be staying with Summer and I put my phone off after that because I knew she'd try to phone me to convince me to talk to her but I was not ready for that.

Life was moving too fast for me.

Too. Fucking. Fast.

"Are you okay?" Summer asks me, and I look over at her, realizing the movie was on pause and she was staring at me, looking worried, and she'd probably been staring at me for sometime to have noticed how lost in thought I actually was.

I swallow before I smile. "Yeah I am, just thinking." I knew I couldn't lie and say I was fine just tired, because I already used that one in the car and well I was awake right now so...

"About?" Summer asks, unconsciously leaning closer.

"Everything, all at once, is that weird?"

She smiles a small smile, "No, its not."

Knowing I wasn't going insane was more comforting than I expected. "Sometimes I wish I could turn off my thoughts for a moment." I say honestly, for once letting the words out and it helps me for some reason when she nods, "Do you want to talk about it?"

I don't.

She can tell even if I don't speak.

She nods again. "Theres no shame in speaking to someone, even if its a professional."

"I've spoken to a professional once, I'm not sure it had any benefits."

"Try another, find your pick, you have your whole life to try to feel better Adrienne, you should you know, try." She tries to urge me, "Plus, you deserve to be happy more than some of the time."

Summer was speaking to me like she knew more than i've told her about. As if she knew I needed the encouragement.

"Did Karsen say anything?" I ask her.

And she smiles, "Not much, don't worry, but he worries about you a lot, like how you're doing especially, so I figured its private but I understand life can be a lot sometimes."

I nod in understanding. Of course he worries. He gets anxious and so he worries. I almost feel bad but I try not to hold the burden of that. That was one thing my old therapist taught me.

So, huh... maybe she did teach me something beneficial.

Summer puts the movie on again for us, eating her popcorn and I smile a small smile.

Summer is a good friend. And I was lucky to have someone like her in my life.

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