Forgotten But Not Lost

33

Hedvig huddled in the corner of her family's den, holding her breath, too frightened to even make a sound. The sounds of a struggle had died just as quickly as they had appeared, leaving only a crushing silence and the lingering smell of blood.
"

Mama… why frightened?" One of her five pups mumbled as the little one woke up, feeling his mother's tension.
Hedvig reached one of her claws down and begin to rub the scruff of the boy's neck in an effort to keep the child calm and quiet. "Hush little one. You must be quiet." She dared to whisper.
The female Kobold held her breath, straining her ears in an attempt to divine what was happening beyond the mouth of their little den. Praying that what remained of her family would go unnoticed and that the monsters would just pass them by. At first, it seemed as though her prayers might have been answered as the sound of footsteps growing more distant reached her, growing quieter with each passing second.
After a moment with no sound at all, Hedvig risked a sigh of relief, closing her eyes and giving thanks to the Elders for what small mercy there was in the world, thinking that the invaders were gone. It was only then that she realized that the smell of blood still remained in the air. Not only that, it had gotten stronger.
Her eyes shot open and she looked up towards the entrance to their hollowed-out hole in the wall to find a human standing there, his entire form seeming to glow red in the ambient light coming from the cave walls. Before she even had time to react, the cruel beast threw a knife, penetrating Hedvig's throat, successfully silencing her.
As she collapsed to the floor, clawing at the blade that was lodged in her throat she heard her little ones starting to voice their own surprise. She turned her head to look at them, hoping that they would be able to feel her wish for them to run away as best they can, but all this gained her was a view for when five more knives flew through the air, burying themselves into the chests of her beloved children.
'No. Please no.' Hedvig wanted to cry as she reached out her paw towards her dying babies. A moment later, a second knife penetrated the base of her neck, severing her spine. The mother's entire body went limp and she died, shedding a single tear for the children who would never get the chance to grow up.
She could only hope that in the next life, they would no longer have to fear attacks by such cruel monsters.
Shirou was lost in thought as he cleaned and stored away his knives after retrieving them from the dead Kobold mother and her children.
He didn't regret killing them. If he had allowed them to live, then there was a strong chance of them alerting the others of a group of intruders. With his party already five levels deep into the Cyrene Mines, any sort of mass alert would become annoying at the very least, possibly even dangerous.
While Kobolds were often skilled at creating weapons and armor, they weren't warrior races like the Goblins or Orcs. A vast majority of the wolfman-like creatures were unarmed workers and craftsmen.
While some would argue that there was little need to harass the Kobolds, as they never raided human settlements themselves, nearly eighty percent of all weapons used by the other monster races came from the Kobolds and their mines.
While the Kobolds did have some ability to grow their own crops in a strange luminescent cavern in their underground civilization, they only produced half as much food as it took to maintain their large numbers, and were therefore reliant on trade in order to feed themselves. Which is why they supplied all of the other races with the weapons they needed in order to attack the humans. Making them one of the most important enemies to keep an eye on.
Even so, Shirou was vaguely aware that the deaths of the mother and her children served no purpose in the grand scheme of things, and that they were not part of the threat against humanity. Even so, he had mercilessly killed them, not because they were enemies, but just because their lives were an obstacle for him.
…And he felt nothing for having done so.
After his time spent with Yume, Shirou started to question his own actions; his own casualness towards the topic of killing. He had always known that he was different from the others, but he had always chalked it up to his skill on the battlefield. It had never really occurred to him just how easy killing was for him with comparison to the others. Even Rin, who was the closest to being like him, still hesitated before killing her enemies, if only just a little.
There was the temptation to simply blame this all on the Counter Force, but Shirou felt like the World had little to do with this. This was just what he was. He was a Sword that existed solely to cut down his enemies. It was the thing that had allowed him to survive and to keep the people around him alive as well. However, it was the thing that made them fear him.
He had seen the discomfort in Yume's eyes when he had killed a mere twenty goblins when she had been spotted. How would she have reacted if she had witnessed him slaughter hundreds? Her party may have known that Shirou had killed thousands but hearing it and seeing what that looks like where two different things. Would they fear him as well if they ever had a chance to really see him in action?
Did he even care if they did?
"Archer?" Rin said, breaking him out of his own thoughts. "You've been distracted. Is something wrong?" She gave him a questioning look. Perhaps she was still a little worried about the injury from that morning. She had freaked out a little when she had seen what her punch had managed to do.
In order to go unnoticed by Shirou's senses, she had to throw a punch without the use of magic. She hadn't thought that an ordinary punch without any magic reinforcing it would have done that kind of damage, since in their sparring sessions, Shirou had managed to brush off heavily reinforced punches that could crack boulders, but she had flustered him and thus caught him off guard without even tensed muscles as a defense, and just so happened to have landed a blow where his ribs would most easily break. It was a one in a hundred punch, and Shirou just happened to be the unlikely number one.
It had been an accident, one done in the spirit of a childish prank in order to punish Shirou for being cocky that had gone horribly wrong. He hadn't really been mad about it but had wanted to use it to tease Rin back in an equally childish manner. Sadly, she knew exactly what his real objective was, and refused to play along, making the entire thing a moot point.
But he had gotten his vengeance in the end by convincing her that she had been eating Orc meat, believing that it was pork. Her expression had been priceless. She always made the most amusing flustered faces.
He had actually been told by Itsukushima that Orcs really did taste like pork, but he had never tried cooking them himself. Too tough and stringy to make for good ingredients. Not without tenderizing it with a jackhammer… whatever that was.
"I'm fine. Just a little lost in thought." Shirou told her, trying to brush off her worries.
Rin narrowed her eyes at him, looking him up and down, causing him to feel nervous. "Archer, you didn't sleep last night, did you?" She said accusingly.
"Ah… no. I was finishing up the armor sets for the new team." Shirou admitted.
"I see. And when was the last time you did sleep?" She asked him.
"…About four days ago." Shirou again admitted, barely containing a yawn as he did so.
Rin took a deep breath and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "You sure do have a strange way of taking a week off. How many times have I told you not to work yourself to death?"
"Probably around the same number of times I've told you the same." Shirou said, hoping that sarcasm would get him out of this conversation. It didn't. Rin just throw him another dirty look.
"Alright. Let's go home." Rin said to the others, already turning back towards the way they came.
"That isn't necessary. I'm still in more than good enough condition to fig…" Shirou started to object, but Rin shot him down.
"How about we not make hypocrites of ourselves. We just got through telling the new group that there was no rush to push forward. The Kobolds aren't going anywhere. We can start mapping the seventh level tomorrow, after you are properly rested." Rin said calmly.
"Tomorrow the route will become more difficult after what we did here today." Shirou pointed out.
"Then we will map out a different route. We have all the time in the World. Rushing will only cause us to make mistakes." Rin countered easily with a small shrug. "We are going home, and you are going to get some sleep, even if I have to drag you into bed with me." She said, giving him a playful smirk. She expected her tease to get some kind of a reaction out of him, whether it was a surprised flush or his own sarcastic retort. But his face remained unchanged and he didn't say anything, and so her own smile fell. "Shirou… are you really alright?"
"I…" Shirou started before he glanced away from Rin and towards the other girls, seeing their curious faces. "Perhaps you're right. Maybe I do just need some sleep."
Rin gave him a concerned frown but nodded her head. "Alright. Let's start heading back up."
"I can't believe she spelled me to sleep." Shirou grumbled as he sat on the beach of swords. How could he have a restful sleep in these kinds of conditions, with that traitorous woman in HIS kitchen.
He had tried to insist that he could at least cook dinner before going off to sleep, but Rin had refused him. She said that the rest of them could handle the food and that he needed to rest, when Shirou tried to resist, she cast her magic on him while his attention was elsewhere, putting him to sleep. It would take his body a little while to overcome the effects of the Shadow Elemental magic. Even though Shirou's resistance to Elemental Magic was far greater than that of any normal human, as the Elementals' [Aversion to Iron] extended to his soul, Rin had burned quite a lot of her magical energy in order to make sure that the spell would stick for at least a while.
If he had been aware during the moment she was casting and had defended with his own magical energy, he could have brushed aside the spell all together, regardless of how much force Rin had put behind it.
Two failed attempts to resist a sneak attack in one day. Shirou really must have been tired.
"Maybe this is her way of getting back at me for telling her that she's been eating Orcs." Shirou said with a sigh.
"And what would be so wrong with that?" Eldritch asked, as her massive wolf-like form faded in from the ether. "You know that Orc tastes just like boar, right?"
"So I've been told." Shirou said, a small smile entering his expression. "It's good to see you, Eldritch."
"Is it? Then why have you been avoiding me these last few days?" Eldritch said, trying to sound hurt as she moved up to Shirou and wrapped her body around him, leaving her head next to his left arm. "I was beginning to think you didn't love me anymore."
"I've been busy." Shirou said weakly as he began to scratch the White Goddess behind her ears. "I've been leaving out more offerings for you to try to make up for it."
"Yes, I know, and I know you've been busying yourself too. Yume's been telling me all about it." Eldritch said, laughing softly. "She's such a rambunctious little one. Did you realize she already sees you as her Alpha."
"Yes, I did." Shirou admitted. It was hard not to see Yume's admiration of him.
"Well, just remember that wolves are only permitted one mate. I am not a Goddess of Polygamy. You can have Little Yume or the Clever Girl, not both." Eldritch teased him.
"Please stop." Shirou said with a sigh. Yume and Shirou were too different for him to ever see her as more than a little sister. She was innocent and loved life. While Shirou was a merciless killer, who would kill anything for the sake of convenience. As for Rin… Rin was complicated. Just like him, she both interacted with everyone else but was seemingly separate from them.
There were times when Shirou felt like the two of them were the only real things in the world. Or perhaps that the world was real and that they were just figments of the imaginations of others. They were two people who might as well be strangers alone together on an island, keeping each other company simply because there is no one else there. A funny comparison to make, considering Shirou was sitting on a beach in his own mind talking to a Goddess in the form of a giant wolf who was his only company.
"Tell me what is troubling you." Eldritch more demanded than asked, after a few moments of silence.
"What makes you think that there is something wrong?" Shirou asked her.
"We are in a World of your own creations. It is a reflection of the state of your soul. Just by breathing the air here, I can tell that something is troubling you." Eldritch said glancing up at Shirou. Shirou sniffed at the air. It smelled of iron… or like blood. How appropriate. "Come now, tell your Goddess what is troubling you."
Shirou thought about it for a few moments before deciding on a place to start. "Eldritch, some time ago, you said that you could barely recognize my soul as being human."
"Hm… yes, I believe I did say something along those lines." Eldritch said, nodding her large head.
"I've always known that I was different from the other humans. Deep in my soul, I am a Sword. A weapon meant to cut down its enemies, no matter what form they may take, or whether it is just or not. I just… never realized how different it made me from them." Shirou admitted.
"Is that so bad?" Eldritch asked him. "I am far more different from those normal humans than you are. We are all who we are. Might as well just be happy with ourselves. Do you really wish you were like the others?"
"You're right. I don't regret what I am, since it is this nature of mine that lets me keep those close to me safe… but." Shirou closed his eyes and tried to think what he was trying to say. He didn't know though. Not really. Even so, the words found him anyways. "I'm missing something. Part of what made me function is gone. Something that kept my violent nature in check."
"Your violent nature?" Eldritch questioned Shirou.
"Most living things perform acts of violence. Whether out of desperation, natural instinct, or catharsis, but there always a strong emotion attached to it. A pleasure or fear that drives them to commit it. But for me, killing has always been a part of life. It was as natural as breathing and performed with just as little thought and emotion. It requires more to stop me from killing something than it takes to convince me to do it." Shirou explained.
"I see." Eldritch said, closing her own eyes. "I think you're over thinking things. But if you think you are missing something, then how about you search for it? Or better yet, just make something to fill the gap. You humans are pretty good at doing that sort of thing."
Shirou felt his head clearing, the Shadow Elemental that had been keeping him under finally weakening to the point where he could throw off its effects.