His, and His Only

12

I'm at the gas station, picking up a bottle of wine when I come across this older gentleman, tall, gold jewelry on, telling me I'm adorable and that he'll take care of my bottle of wine for me. I do my dancer giggle and allow him to buy the bottle for me.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and holds out his rack of hundreds, "I can take care of you tonight if you're down, get my number just in case."

I'm already manic and upset, desperate even. I didn't make anything while dancing tonight, I gave him my number not expecting anything to come of this exchange. He pays for my bottle and I give him a hug and he gropes me in front of everyone at the station, grabbing my butt and telling me I have soft skin. "Thank you, and thank you for the wine," I giggle as I'm now leaving the gas station.

I run down the street, past the other clubs that I considered working at, and towards my hotel while drinking out of the bottle in alleyways. The last thing I need is to be caught by police drinking in public.

A few minutes later, he ends up calling me and asking me to hang out with him tonight, no weird stuff, for 1000. I rolled my eyes and said yes, I'm desperate for money right now after all. 1000 sounds like a good deal, even if it ends up that I do have to have sex with him, which I already know that I will. for a price like that, there's always sex involved.

So I start walking back to the gas station and I get into his truck, he has a friend in the front seat so naturally I get into the back. 

A million thoughts race through my mind as I ponder, "I'm an idiot." as the biggest feeling. This guy could kill me. He could have more people waiting at his penthouse to gang me. I could die tonight but here I am for some reason, not really caring what happens to me, not many people would actually miss me if something were to happen. At most people who never even talked to me would suddenly post about, "oh no, my poor dead friend feel bad for me because I lost a friend." and it would become a debate on whether or not I deserved it. Causing even the people who pretend to care to withdrawal their phony love for me.

I'm definitely manic right now but there's no way for me to control this. I can't jump out of the car, he's going too fast and if I leave now, I won't be paid at all. I'd just be on the side of the highway, surrounded by water, no way to get back to the hotel... I can't think straight when I'm like this. I don't have hardly any friends to talk to. My family wants nothing to do with me because I won't give them money anymore.

I don't know what to truly do with my life some days.

For safety measure I pulled out some of my hair and stuff it in between the cushions and I light up a cigarette so I can leave the butt in the car as well. This was in case I going missing because of him or he does something horrible to me, my DNA is at least in his car.

He drops his friend off at another bar, and I hop into the front seat, continuing my giggly act, pretending everything is okay. When we arrive at his penthouse he starts going off about politics, all these other pointless things that can't really matter to someone like me, I have no say in anything. He mentions how he likes his penthouse because no one can find him, and he's safe.

When I step in, I see white marble flooring with gold specks, he tells me the floors cost 300,000USD, then a tall staircase with gold beams, white trim hand railing leading to his bedroom. When I step inside the living room, there's almost no furniture built yet. There's a giant white couch, a white piano, and tall windows where you can see the water during the day time, as he said.