Nobody Cares. (One Direction Fan Fiction)

Living Hurts

~February 16th 2013~

{Belle's POV}

I'm fat.

I'm ugly.

I'm a slut.

I'm a whore.

No one cares about me.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as the cold blades of the razor touched against my soft skin. Right as I was about to scrape it against my skin my phone vibrated. Rose, my best friend and practically sister.

'Belle please don't cut urself. Ur not any of those things. Please think about One Direction. They wouldn't want you to do this.'

Rose and One Direction are the only reasons I'm not dead. Sure I have other friends but I'm closest with Rose. Her and One Direction wouldn't want me to do this. But they don't care about me. Or even know I exist.

I took a deep breath through my gritted teeth then pulled the razor blades against my once cut free wrist. A piercing pain shot up my arm as the blood trickled out of my wrist and onto the white tile floors of my bathroom. I let out an eardrum bursting scream as I scraped the blade down deeper.

The razor fell to the floor along with my knees. I sat there, letting the blood fall down my wrist and the tears down my cheeks. I grabbed my phone and slowly typed in a text to Rose.

'I'm so sorry.'

The tears fell harder as I pulled myself up, using the sink to grip onto. My reflection made me want to cut myself more.

Boring brown eyes. Boring pink lips. Boring curly brown hair. I'm ugly.

I walked shakily back to my room, staring at my now almost completely blood covered wrist. No one heard me scream, because no one is home. My parents are divorced and I live with my mom. But I'd rather live alone. I know my mom doesn't love me. It's obvious she loves my little brother more. She makes it clear everyday by taking her anger out on me. No, she doesn't abuse me physically but she does emotionally. Whenever my brother Scott makes her mad she yells at me. Shooting insult after insult. And today I couldn't take it any longer.

She took Scott to lacrosse at five then went to my aunts until late tonight. Scott was going to sleep over a friends house and my mom was most likely going to stay there until past midnight or send me a text saying she's sleeping over. Before she left Scott was irritating her so she took it out on me once again. I held the tears back as she yelled "You are so fucking annoying! Stop playing your music so loud! You have no life staying in your room all day! No wonder you only have one friend! Because you're just a little useless ugly bitch!"

So once she left, all of the tears escaped. I texted Rose telling her I couldn't take it anymore and I had to cut. Every minute she'd send me a text saying not to, but I couldn't help myself. No one can imagine the pain to hear your own mother say that you are a 'useless ugly bitch'.

Before I knew it I had the cold metal blade against my skin. It took all my strength not to hurt myself. But I'm so weak lately. Everyday is a challenge just to get out of bed.

I finally reached my room and once I shut the door I fell to the floor. The tears won't stop causing me to became lightheaded, my head is starting to get dizzy, I can't feel my legs, and my heart beat is going a hundred miles an hour. Slowly I took long deep breaths to calm myself down.

Once my breathing became normal and I felt my legs, I pushed myself up and walked towards my desk. The blood continued to fall but is now isn't flowing as fast. I picked up my pencil and started to write.

"Dear, One Direction

I know you might not even read this but I need to tell this to you. You guys are everything to me, because I have nothing. My parents got divorced when I was seven and now I live with my mom. Most girls would love to live with their mom but not me, because my mom doesn't love me. Everyday she takes her anger out on me by yelling. She only does it to me, not my little brother. My dad even told me she loves him more then me.

Today I couldn't take it any more. I cut myself. All the insults my mom called me rang throughout my mind. It was to much for a thirteen-year-old girl like me, and I didn't have enough strength to stop myself. No, this isn't a suicide note. But I'm not sure how much longer I can live.

Love, Belle Centful"

As I wrote a few drips of blood fell onto the paper. Even if they do read this, they won't notice. Most likely they'll only scan over the paper and send me a printer letter saying "Thanks for writing. Love you to!" Then all of them sign the bottom. It's not their fault that they're the most famous boy band in the world.

I tucked the loose leaf into a white envelope then wrote the return address and their address on the front. Hopefully this will make it from Hillsdale New York to London England. I walked down the stairs from our condo, passed the door of the Jeffersons, then to the front door. Thankfully they weren't home to hear me scream.

My feet touched the cool pavement as I stepped off of the stone steps and onto the driveway making my way towards the mailbox. I kissed the letter then placed it inside the gray metal box. A cool breeze blew and it hit my open wounds causing it to sting. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from screaming.

Living hurts too much.

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A/N

I hope whoever read this story likes it. I know it might be a bit depressing but it will get happier as it goes on. The boys will be in the next chapter. Thanks!

Love, Isabella