Nobody Cares. (One Direction Fan Fiction)

Surrendered

~Thursday, April 16th~

{Belle's POV}

The wind violently blew against the leaves causing a loud rustling sound. Beads of water furiously pelted against anything that came in its way. The London sky stayed dark gray during the storm. Thunder nor lightning struck, it was simply a rain storm.

I'm the only one awake to witness this. It's the prettiest storm I've ever seen. That might sound weird but as I've said a while ago I love rain. Every sound it makes against objects, every bolt of light to illuminate the room, everything about it.

Silently I walked outside to the back yard and sat on the wet grass that's mixed with mud. The rain drenched my clothing as I stared up at the dark sky. Rain hit my face causing my skin to sting but I didn't mind.

The sky looks so dark, as if it's angry. When I was younger, about seven, my mom would say when it rains God is crying. That the sky represents how sad he is with what people are doing down on the earth.

Maybe he's upset with me. Or with Niall. Or with someone else in this world. It could be anyone, but how he's feeling is exactly how I feel.

I knew that one day I would regret my decisions. That I would regret cutting and being anorexic. That day is today. If I didn't cut I wouldn't be causing others pain. If I didn't stop eating Niall never would've gotten drunk and yell at me.

Seeing the pain in everyone's eyes because of my decisions makes me wish I weren't here. People would be happy. The boys wouldn't of had to pause their tour, and Scott would be alive. Everyone would be living their lives perfectly.

A strike of lightning didn't even make me move. I spread my legs out in front of my and placed my hands palm down on the ground, letting the mud seep between my fingers. My hair stuck to my neck and the little part of my back that showed from my shirt being lower in the back.

I continued to stare up at the sky. Everything about it calmed me. Even though all of the negative thoughts are roaming my mind the storm is erasing them. All the sounds that the rain creates deleted every paranoid thought and clears my mind. Nothing can bother me at this moment.

When the second bolt of lightning struck right above me I knew I had to go back inside. Just because I want to die doesn't mean I should let myself.

Slowly I walked back inside, my socks squish in the wet mud. Before I stepped inside I took off my socks and left them outside near the door. I wrung my hair out then walked inside.

I noticed how Niall was fast asleep on the couch, snores escaping his mouth. His arms hugged himself probably trying to stay warm. I took a blanket out from a hall closet and laid it over him. He instantly cuddled into the source of the warmth. I left a kiss on his forehead before trekking up the stairs.

Just because I'm scared of him doesn't mean I can't be nice.

I stripped out of my soaking wet clothes and tossed them into the bathtub to let them dry then pulled on a pair of sweats and a hoodie. I laid down in bed and snuggled into the blankets.

Sleep didn't come to me though. All through the plane ride I slept and when we got back it was around midnight. Now it's two in the morning. Usually I could sleep whenever I'd like to, but I just don't feel the need to. So instead of sleeping I just laid on my back listening to the sounds of the rain and closed my eyes.

My heart pounded gently against my chest as my lungs inhaled and exhaled with air. Everything at the moment is calm. The past few days have been so crazy that at this moment I feel peaceful. My mind isn't running like motor, instead it's like the clouds slowly soaring in the sky.