Auld Lang Syne: A Millennium Love Story

Can You Love Me Only

Mandalay Bay
Las Vegas, Nevada
New Years Day
Saturday, January 1, 2000
(8:00 am)
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"I never want to move from this spot."

Stevie was lying on her stomach, draped almost completely across Lindsey's body, her head resting on his chest as he ran his fingers through her hair. They had been awake for a little while, each of them taking a brief turn in the bathroom before crawling back into bed at sunrise and then waking up again awhile later but reluctant to get out of bed. Stevie was beginning to think of Karen, two floors below them with the dogs, but she had neither the strength nor the willpower to pick up the phone and inquire. She was in a state of sheer bliss and she didn't want it to end.

"Good...because I'm never letting you go," said Lindsey, and he began to gently scratch into her hair at the crown. "You're my prisoner now...you're going to have to live here in this bed with me because I am not getting up either."

Stevie placed a few tiny kisses up his bare chest and lifted her face to his. "Is it technically prison if you enjoy your sentence?" She smiled before she lifted herself just a bit more to kiss him, and then resumed her position, closing her eyes with a sigh. "Mmmm...I love you," she murmured, her breath warm against his skin.

"I love you." He stopped stroking her hair only so he could wrap his arms around her.

"In Australia this is called a kangaroo cuddle," Stevie said with a slight note of laughter in her voice. "You're my kangaroo, I guess."

"I've been called worse," said Lindsey, and they both giggled. "Are you my baby kangaroo then?"

"Just grow yourself a pocket and find out," she teased, and they laughed again. She began to nuzzle into him and he held her tighter. Stevie exhaled a little contented whimper, and then they were quiet for awhile. She was listening to his heart beating beneath her cheek, her hand absentmindedly caressing his arm on the opposite side. After awhile, she broke the silence. "When I'm all done with this group of shows, I need you to do something for me, Linds."

"Anything, angel." He kissed her head where it rested on him.

"I need you to take me up to see Ruth."

Lindsey had elaborated more about his mother's failing health hours before, the two of them wrapped up together in a ball under the covers in the dark, whispering secrets and stories as they always had. She knew Ruth Buckingham was terminally ill and she had to say goodbye to the woman who'd taken her in from the beginning.

"She'd love to see you," Lindsey said of his mother. "Let's plan a trip...we can do the whole old neighborhood thing...I'll even wrap you up in my coat in Golden Gate Park."

He could feel her smile against him, and he knew she knew what he was thinking. The evening before Thanksgiving 1969, in Golden Gate Park, he had wrapped her in his coat to keep her warm after seeing her shiver in the cold air from the ocean. He had wanted so badly to kiss her then, but they were both seeing other people, they were just band mates and friends...and so he'd treated her to a burger and fries in town and she'd driven him home, both of them realizing that night that what they had was more than a flirtation between friends - they were in love.

In the middle of the night, holding her close to his heart and feeling her hair tickle his skin as she touched her lips ever so gently to his neck, he had told her he was leaving Kristen. He was always going to be in his children's lives, but his relationship was over.

"I can't live a lie anymore," he told her, his breath at her lips, closing in for a kiss. "It's always been you, angel...I need you. I tried to make it work but you're home, you know...she's not home."