Not Your Hero

Comfort In the Chaos

Chapter 5

Comfort In the Chaos

Griffin runs his hands down his face as he thinks of where he wanted to start. The best place to start was probably at the beginning, but the beginning doesn't seem to exist when your mother is a pathological liar that can convince anyone that her family fell apart because of their father, Ignacio, a man that worshiped the ground she walked on.

Their father was in the picture for as long as Griffin could remember. Griffin assumed he was still in the picture after he ran away to take care of Axel, but fate (or luck, whichever hated him more) didn't seem to hold that truth.

Ignacio was a gentle soul with a strong drive to keep his family safe no matter what it took. He would walk through hell when Ximena refused to walk on a match. He would pick up the chores around the house for the boys if they ever forgot to do them and would send a wink their way with a quick 'she doesn't have to know it was me.' Anyone that looked at Ignacio felt safe, at ease even, by those honey eyes.

Teaching the boys to hunt, cook, fence, farm and clean was nothing but the bare minimum to him and he made sure they knew it.

"I only want the best for you both. If your mother and I aren't around, then you will need to provide for each other. I can't say for certain with the times we're living in you will be as fortunate to find a lover, so you have to be ready to take care of each other."

The boys look at each other, nod their heads and get right back to their learning. Love was nothing but a time waster in this world, Griffin had to constantly remind himself of that.

"Hey, earth to Grif, what is it that you need to tell me that is so shell-shocking that you haven't had the ability to speak for five minutes?"

Axel doesn't mean to come off as rude as he is, but with the anticipation gripping at his sides and twisting his stomach, he lets his nerves get to him.

"When did dad leave? I need to know that first. That is going to tell me where to start."

Axel tensed and shifted uncomfortably as if the memory was enough to steer him away from the curiosity of finding the truth.

"He left about a year and a half after you ran away. He refused to stop looking for you, though. Everyday it was 'but what if Griffin this' and 'Griffin could come home that.'"

Axel didn't realize that he had balled his fist, he didn't even realize the slight tremble in his legs. He wasn't sure if his tiny outburst was anger placed towards his father for leaving, or if it was jealousy that his brother seemed much more wanted than he would ever be. All he knew was that there was a pain that settled in him that changed from emptiness and sorrow to rage and revenge for the boy that would never get to know familial love again.

Griffin seemed to pick up on the tense atmosphere and he stood up, held his hand out in offering and waited. Axel, confused as ever, put his hand out as well and Griffin pulled him into what seemed to be a bone crushing hug.

There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed to apologize for. He needed to tell Axel all the things he did to keep assassins and others away from the boy from a distance. If he could find the correct words, he would say 'I'm sorry I left you to deal with that alone.', 'I did try my best to keep you safe from a distance, but I couldn't keep you from the real monster.', 'I'm sorry I didn't bring you with me.' 'I came back and watched out for you every night that she didn't have someone right outside of that stupid window watching guard' but now wasn't the time for any of that.

Instead, he settled for a "you're not alone anymore. I don't know how many times I can apologize for running back then, but I'm not running again. I'm here now. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, if you want to punch me or curse me again you can. I understand."