[tw: suicidal thoughts, death]
"WHERE- IS SHE?!" I scream. I'm drifting in and out of consciousness, and I can barely breathe, and all I can feel is the arms of a firefighter holding me. All I want to do is get out of his arms and run to that rooftop and grab Vanessa from the edge and tell her it's okay and save her from the flames.
"It's okay," he reassures me through his mask, but that's a lie, because the next thing I hear is another firefighter screaming,
"SOMEONE JUMPED!!" And suddenly, I can't see anything anymore. I can't hear anything, I can't breathe, I can't do anything but struggle and suffer and feel my lungs collapsing inside me. She's gone. The girl I trusted, the girl I spent the past week of my life getting to know, the girl I loved. She's gone. I should have saved her. I should have grabbed her before she shut that door, I should have done something. I can feel my lungs filling with smoke, I can feel my heart breaking, and everything is gone. All I can feel is hopelessness, and grief, and guilt, and rage. I bring my hands up to my eyes and try to rub them and see something, and through my smoke-filled, flame-engulfed vision, I'm able to make out the doorway and feel the rush of wind as the fireman takes me outside. He sets me down on the ground so he can run back in and save someone else, and even though I can't see anything, really, one thing is clear. I can't do this alone. I can't survive the rest of my life knowing the love of my life killed herself and I could have stopped it. I can't survive the rest of my life knowing that this flame-engulfed city burning to ashes is my fault. I can't stop myself from doing what I see as my only option. I envision Vanessa in the deep flames, and maybe it's the smoke in my eyes driving me insane and maybe I'm stupid and maybe I'll regret this, but you can't regret things when you're dead. You can't feel guilt when you're dead, and you can't bear the pain of the world going wrong beneath you. In flame, I run. In flame, I jump. In wild, passionate, terrifying, joyful, red and white and hot and cold and terrifying and beautiful flame, I take the only thing from myself that the universe wasn't able to. In flame, I die.
YOU ARE READING
thunderstruck - zac efron and vanessa hudgens
Fanfictionit's pre-high school musical, but set in the current times. zac and vanessa's lives were wrecked by a car crash 2 years ago that took both of their siblings, and have remained split by hatred for one another ever since. but when a new story about t...
