Your boyfriend game | Bakery AU

Ch. 11. Apology

t.w. Swearing, self-harm, mention of abuse, mention of rape.

Y/N's POV:

I was in a black void, again.. everytime I'm in a dream, I always spawn in the middle of nowhere..I'm so tired of this crap.
I looked around, I just didn't want to walk anywhere. I saw a gun next to my feet. I took it and examined it. It was just a pistol.
I'll just fire it. Maybe I will die in this dream and rest from this hell.
I put the gun on my temple.
1..
2..
..3

I fired the gun. But, something happened.It wasn't the blood dripping, it was roses. It fell out of my temple smoothly.
I was shocked. It didn't work? I looked down just to be met by the roses. Seriously? I tried charging it and firing it again but it didn't work.
"JUST FIRE GODDAMN IT!"-I threw the pistol hard on the ground.
I looked around and this time I saw a knife. My second chance. I took the knife, stabbed it in my stomach, but same happened, it inserted succefully but it wasn't blood, it was roses falling out. I took the knife out and the roses kept falling out. the scar faded away.
"COME ON!"-I shouted, put the knife on my throat and slith it this time. Roses fell out again.
"What the heck is happening?! why won't I just die!"-I yelled. I threw the knife on the ground again.
"Come ooon!"-I felt stubborn, I wanted to die!

"What are you doing..?"-I heard someone say behind me. I looked back and saw my sister, sad and confused at the same time. She was wearing her usual, white shirt, reddish long skirt and longsleeved jeans jacket.

"I don't want to live anymore sister! I will just die and join you and dad!"-I yelled. My eyes were watering.
"Y/N no, you have to live, for me."
"I don't have anything happy left anymore! I suffered because of mom for years, 4 years with Tobey, and now, I just found out that the guy I loved with all my heart, kidnapped me and chased me around with a rope and knife! You think that's what I deserve for loving him?! He could just tell me he loved me and he could do anything he wanted with me, not chain me and lock me up just to show his "Love" to me! I loved him, I Loved Him! But I don't know what to do at this time!"
"Y/N, I know you suffered from many things and still do..but you have to keep going."
"But you left me, you don't suffer anymore."
"I never left you Y/N"-She said, approaching me slowly and touching my necklace.-"I'm always here, with you. I have never left you."
I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back softly, to not hurt my back.
"Y/N, live for me, I'm still here. There are many things that you don't know. I hope you find out what is really happening soon. what did I teach you?"
"Even the smallest things keep the biggest mysteries.."-I replied.
"Exactly, and now remember that I'm always with you. Unfortunately, I can't retell everything here, so, I hope you find out everything you should know."
"Okay.."-I said, slightening my hug. We both lowered down. I felt a very big relief in my heart. The black void was fading into white.
I closed my eyes.
"I'm counting on you.."-My sister said.

I slightly opened my eyes, waking up in a room. The room was similar to the last one, but this one had a window and I could see it snowing outside. There also was a fireplace and a soft Vanillacolor carpet in front of it.
The blanket was thick and black.
I was able to move fortunately. I looked at my hands, the bandages were changed, but my fingers were also slightly bandaged, so I could move them. My legs were also bandaged, fully, but slightly.
I tried getting up, but my back hurt way too much, I couldn't even arise normally. Oh, I hit my back on a tree. My feet were also bandaged. especially the area, a piece of sharp thing went into my flesh. My foot hurt when i tried moving it too.
I tried getting up again. I crawled backwards slowly and slightly rested my back on the pillow. I felt very rested, but also in a little pain. I closed my eyes, tilting my head up. 

I woke up again, looks like I napped for a little. I opened my eyes slowly, looking at the window, it was still snowing hard. Then I moved my head to the fire in the fireplace. The fireplace was near a door, at the right side. I tilted my head back up again, I felt like someone was watching me again.
I slightly looked to my right and Peter was sitting right next to me. I jumped in fear and fell off from the left side of the bed. He had his eyes wide open, staring at me.
"Darling! are you ok?"-he helped me back to bed.
"Oooow..."-My back hurt so bad when I fell off. Looks like I wasn't chained this time.
"How are you feeling darling?"-He asked.
"A little finer than before."
He took Puppy eyes and started watering up.
"H-hey! what's wrong?!"-I asked worriedly, reaching my hand slightly to his face. Slightly because my hand hurt.
"I-I was scared to loose you"-he replied, cupping his head in my hand and slowly kissing it.
"It's alright, be happy that I survived, I-I guess."-I told him. Blushing a little and looking away.
He hugged me. -"I'm sorry for earlier..".
"Partly not your fault..But I'm still mad at you."-I answered.
"Why didn't you tell me anything about your past?"-He asked
"Well, maybe you didn't ask 😒"-I replied.
"In more serious way?"
"I didn't want to traumatize you, I guess, but now you already are traumatized."
He reached me and hugged me.
"Nothings going to traumatize me, if it's about your health. I will care for you.."
"So you will buy my medication? Do you have that much money for it?"
"I will do anything. Just for you."
I went silent for a moment
"I forgive you, but, don't do that again.."
"I promise"
"Good."
I layed slowly on the bed, looking at the ceiling. Peter started patting me, softly on my head. I took my hands out, spread the fingers and started looking at them. Peter was curiously looking at my fingers.
"Darling, I have a question, if you don't mind."-he said shyly.
"Go ahead"
"Why did your mother chop your ring finger off, on the left hand?"
"Are you that interested?"-I looked at him, he nodded.
"Well, long story short, when I was young, I think 12 years old, my mother would "Teach" me how to behave or some shit like that. If I made a mistake, she would hit me hard with a very thin stick, especially on my arms, thats why I have them always bandaged, and to be honest, it still hurts. She broke my fingers, if I made too many mistakes. She would make me wear corset, I was too young for wearing it, she would tighten it to 5-6 inches, It hurt everyday."-I said, he was listening curiously.
"And what happened then?"
"Then..then, one day, I fell down 6 times, couldn't balance the books on my head and made a mistake 3 times. My mother was, of course, very furious, she was tired of hitting me and breaking my fingers, she couldn't take the anger. She went to the kitchen, took a very, very sharp knife and came back. She grabbed my hand put in on a table and held it tight. "You are never going to get married, ever again."-she said and sliced my ring finger off. I was in pain for more than a week, left traumatized forever."-I finished. I couldn't take my indifferent expression off, I didn't want to cry again. Peter was looking at me with his sad eyes.
"But, you said you were raped..?"-He was even curious now.
"Alright, alright. So, a guy fell inlove with me and my beauty. Well, just like you."-I said, Peter looked away a little.
"He dialed my mother and bought me for around..$1M. He sure knew my price, heh.. I was 11 back then, I didn't know shit, what my mother was willing to do. That's when she started "Teaching" me a.k.a. abusing me. when I turned 15, the millions were fully paid and my mother sent me to his place. Well, his name was Tobey. I was all his, he was my owner and everything. He did anything he wanted to me. He would rape me, at last once in 2 weeks."-I finished again. Peter was shocked by my story. Who would have this kind of past, when they smile a lot. "Wow.."-he said.-"I couldn't even imagine anything like this.."
"It's ok, it's all left in the past, all we have to think about is present."-I answered. I yawned.
"Man, I'm so sleepy today.."-I said.
"C-can I lay next to you?"-Peter asked.
"Sure, cute boi"-I replied. Peter layed next to me, covered himself with his blanket and hugged me. I felt pleasantly warm. Peter was smiling, he was happy, of course. This warmth helped me fall asleep..