Shorts

Love? More like lust.

"I love you and I know I shouldn't. I've never actually spoken a word to you. I can only bring myself to admire you from afar. You're the one I want to have in my life, you're the one I want as my future. I feel like I'd die without you."

It was in fact not even being without him that almost had me taking my last breath. Instead it was a severe illness. One that we have knowledge about but this knowledge doesn't seem to apply to my case. The effects and my remaining years are still hard to determine. Although we believe it is possible to overcome it with the right treatments.

Perhaps the painstakingly obvious obsession with this boy makes it all the more better that he shall never be mine, nor I his. Having never spoken to him or any of his friends makes it hard to judge their characters. Thus meaning, my obsession with him is solely about his looks, an attraction.

I lust after him, not love him. The tales I have recently heard about him have shown to me that he isn't the kind of person I should like. He and his friends are cruel and don't deserve to have my love or other peoples for that matter.

He tormented someone who confessed to him. That was horrible on it's own but what makes it even worse is he had his friends join in on the outrageous act. When I was told this, it was also revealed to me that it was one of my own friends who this atrocious behaviour was being directed to.

Had I of known this before the crush had settled in, he would have never been on my mind everyday for almost 2 years now. The thoughts of him wouldn't have been positive, seeing him in the light of a potential mate in this world. The thoughts would have been about how awful of a person he could be.

But now, because it had been so long, my heart still sings for his to respond, to notice me and my existence, my lust for him. Despite the now revealed knowledge of how cruel he could actually be to people who like him. I suppose, the heart just.. wants what it wants.

A/N: This short story is actually a truthful story. About me, my crush and one of my friends. This is how it happened, but I've left names out of it for many reasons and privacy. Although I know my friend and crush will never actually read this, it still makes me feel better having it anonymous.