What Would Happen If We Tried?

Being a Dumb Queer

A/N: The main character (Amelia) uses she/they pronouns so sorry if that gets confusing at any point. 

Another day at high school, Amelia thought. It was the second to last day before winter break, and of course they had gotten a cough a week before Christmas. She was testing in Social Studies, and luckily their teacher was nice enough to let her leave the room when she had a coughing fit. 

Every time they came back in because the tingling in the back of their throat was gone, it came back. Pretty much just answer a couple questions, put another cough drop in my mouth if she needed another, answer another one, go outside. When they came back for surprisingly the last time, Hailey looked at her. Instantly, her stomach was already starting to get butterflies, but they tried their best to kill them all. 

Hailey mouthed the question of if Amelia needed water, and after checking their backpack to see if they had any water left in their water bottle, a quick nod was given. Hailey handed it to the person sitting next to them, which handed it to Amelia. After taking a couple of sips of the surprisingly cold water, they started to wonder if they should have accepted.  

She didn't want to give Hailey the cough. Because if they did, they might not talk to them again or offer things anymore. The latter really didn't matter, but the idea of Hailey not talking to her again terrified them. 

If Hailey didn't talk to them, she had no chance of ever dating or at the very least becoming friends. Amelia quickly handed it back to her partner, who somehow very quietly handed it back, which shocked them because of how easily they could have bonked it on any of the surrounding tables. 

Finishing up the last couple questions on the test, her mind ran through what Hailey had said to her a day or two ago. This annoying guy at her table said he knew who her crush was, and instantly they replied that they didn't like that girl anymore, which was partly true. Sometimes getting over that straight girl is harder then getting over a queer one. 

Hailey instantly responded with saying that she was Amelia's crush, which at first shocked them but after a second just nodded at Hailey making half a heart with their hand. Of course, this might have just proven that Hailey thought of them strictly as a friend just trying to get Amelia out of the situation, or it could be Hailey looking for a genuine honest answer in the form of a joke, which probably wasn't even true. 

And before that interaction, Hailey had come up and asked them to "kiss their booboo", which Amelia always did because to them the idea of kissing someone in a friendly manner didn't matter in the moment. Thought it didn't mean too much and was a very unexpected gesture, made it fun to kiss peoples' booboos to make them feel better. 

After when Hailey left, they overheard someone asking why she had asked that. And Hailey replied that Amelia's kisses instantly heals injuries. Of course, probably just another case of Hailey making jokes of them liking each other, but it reminded her of when at one of the dances they held every couple of months, Hailey had complimented Amelia on how she looked really pretty. 

Of course, she had meant it in a friendly way, hadn't she? 

She just wanted to be friends, 

right?

But the way she said it with so much care in her voice and honesty certainly didn't sound like she was just complimenting a friend. They had heard her compliment her friends, and she didn't say it like that. Hailey remembered her when they came to their first day of school after orientation, she remembered them. 

Of course, Amelia remembered her. How could they not? She looked so pretty in her white blouse with a checkered light blue vest on top and a cute white skirt, it was her favorite outfit they had every seen her in. Everyone else from their group who Amelia saw often in her classes she remembered, which probably just proved that Amelia just had a recognizable face. Makes sense, it's what their mom always said.

Amelia pulled some tarot cards when they got home, asking if she actually had a chance with Hailey and them dating was something that could realistically happen, or if this was another case of, "having a crush on someone who will either never like you back or your personalities don't go well together". 

Yes; they could actually date, no; don't get too attached, stop the crush while you can. She pulled the cards, and after a quick search to see if each card was a yes or no (since they had just recently started learning tarot), she had gotten three yeses. All three cards said yes. Later asking if Hailey had a crush on her as well, three yeses. Amelia chose three so they could get direct answers and not have ties, but could the cards get even more direct than this? 

Amelia decided that after winter break, she would ask for Ava's number, who was one of her friends from middle school. She transferred into her class right before the week before Amelia had moved for a year to the other side of the country because their dad was in the military. 

And getting to sit next to Ava for a month or two definitely helped bond them closer together. And at that point, asking for Ava's number wouldn't be as weird or as obvious that Amelia liked Hailey as asking Hailey, so Amelia decided that would be her first step. 

The second step was getting Hailey's number, third step getting close but not too close that they get into the friend zone, and fourth step to confess her feelings to Hailey. Of course, they wouldn't say that they've liked her since orientation, just that she likes her. If Hailey said yes, then Amelia would ask if they want to eat lunch sometime. 

If Hailey said no, she would just say that they thought they would be a cute couple and pretend like it wasn't a big deal. Because admitting your crush to someone for and getting rejected was definitely gonna take a blow on their confidence, but they just had to learn how to deal with that when she got to that part of the plan. For now, she was stuck waiting for step 1. 

While she was waiting for step one, they started thinking about every interaction. Overthinking is probably the better word, but thinking about it. The way she had said that she was Amelia's crush, it was something they had seen in a video. 

Of ways to tell if a girl likes you. It was something along the lines of saying 'it would be crazy if we dated' or 'i have a crush on you'. The second one was more obvious, but sometimes people brushed that off. She had even heard some of their friends saying that a lot, so she guessed it wasn't crazy for that to go over a girl's head. But the first one hit a little to close to home. The way Hailey had said it almost made it sound like, 'wouldn't it be crazy if I liked you'. 

Again, an over thinker. And Amelia's friend told them how she always looked at her. Thinking about the fact the Hailey and her had liked each other this whole time and never really realized or known just blew them away. It made her anxious that after winter break Hailey might have moved on while Amelia's crush just got bigger and bigger. 

She decided that instead of asking Ava, she was asking Hailey. And maybe Ava too, who knows.