The Shadow's Hold

Confessions pt. II

No measure of time could have erased his beauty from your memory. He hadn't changed.

When the door revealed his figure, there he stood in his white T-shirt and sweatpants, religiously barefoot.

"Mila"

His whisper trapped you yet again in a spell, you gravitating towards his breathy voice like a calm inducing mantra.

He couldn't believe his eyes. Yes, he hoped his lullaby would help you come to terms with your feelings but not to the point of showing up so quickly.

You looked tired yet perfect. His eyes roamed to every single detail on your face, taking it all in.

Almost two months without you. What a tragedy.

"Hi" you shyly reply, shame taking over as your memories from your last time together overwhelmingly flood your mind.

Yoongi's only thought revolved around burying himself in the crook of your neck and puckering the softness of your skin while his arms kept you forever close.

Your only craving was to kiss the man in front of you, confining his lips in yours until time stopped because your souls found themselves linked for eternity.

Yet, the unbearable urge to touch each other couldn't prevail.

"Can I come in?" Afraid he would say no, your body's position revealed you ready to be sent away.

"Of course. Please"

You sighed at his unwavering politeness, increasing your inner shame.

The moment you set foot inside, you felt at home. He saw it too. Your whole body relaxed in one single movement and you outlined a small smile.

My God, how he wanted to hug your figure. You seemed tiny in front of him, more then usual. Why?

You sat on the right side of the couch, your usual spot. He smiled at how familiar it all felt.

Sitting next to you but keeping a respectable distance, you both turned to each other just like when you'd rest after your steamy sessions. The only thing missing being the intertwined legs...

Taking a long deep breath, you prepared yourself for the most emotionally arduous conversation you've had in a while... maybe ever.

"I am sorry Yoongi"

These should be your first words, before anything else comes along. You should apologize.

"I am sorry for everything I said to you that day. I am sorry for how obnoxious I decided to be in order to break your heart. I am sorry I lied. I am sorry the only way I could spend time with you was by lying."

"What do you mean by that?" You had his entire focus; body turned to you, hands on his lap, eyes big with interest and hurt, lips in a small pout.

"I remember our last night together, I remember how emotionally conflicted I was, how after we were done I ended up letting go in your arms, the things I said and felt and how terrifying it all seemed when I sobered up. When I realized how easy it was for you to portray and express your feelings and how much I wanted yet couldn't do the same. I couldn't do it, because the last time I allowed myself to be vulnerable and open, it damaged me profoundly"

Yoongi's breath subsided to small cycles per minute. He had grown aware your story wouldn't be easy to hear. He never thought his soul would be crying with you.

"Before you continue any further Mila, if you can't tell me, I don't want you to. Please don't force yourself to something you're not ready for"

A single tear broke out. The amount of respect this man displayed ignited a hell fire of comfort in you.