MARCELLA

22- hate

Mattia's POV

Growing up it wasn't totally clear to me who exactly Marcella was, sure she was around until we were five but I don't remember her. One of the things I do know is that we use to play dress-up together, I think I only know that because Zeno still teases me about it. When she left no one spoke about her until I was older, it was confusing. Even when I got older her name was just a whisper... my dad was the only one to ever speak of her but even then it was only to Massimo. Sometimes I would walk past his office and hear him spilling his feeling on the table and his regrets about her. He wished he could change it all.

Over the years I came to know that when my mom died giving birth to me, my dad couldn't take it and he slept with someone else, resulting in Marcella. I didn't understand why she had a mom and a dad and I didn't. My older brothers that remember my Mom took it badly, they either avoided her or would take her favourite toys.

If there's one thing that I can remember is her screams that day. Tomasso was influenced by Lucio and the whole hatred surrounding Marcella and he pushed her. She was so small. To them, it had seemed like jumping off a bed but instead, she pummelled to the ground and broke her arm. My dad tried to avoid her from what I can remember but when that happened he was furious, he wouldn't lay a hand on Lucio especially with him being only nine at the time but Massimo had no issue breaking his nose for instigating it. Tomasso was still too young to know what he had been a part of at only six years old, but I remember him violently throwing up from the way her arm had snapped. I held her hand the whole time until dad came.

Still, I'm not sure why I hate her, I'm not totally sure that I do. Even now as I watch her patiently fiddle with her fingers while waiting for the food to finish I can't help but wonder if I ever did hate her or if I was just copying my brothers. Sure at one point, I was jealous because I didn't have a mom but aunt Nessa started coming around a lot after she finished her residency and she filled that hole.

Sometimes she and dad would argue, actually they argued a lot. Aunt Nessa always wanted to meet Ella but the years it took her to complete her residency left her two years too late. All my brothers were clear in their dislike of Marcella by this point and dad thought it would be safer if she stayed away after what happened. She was only around a few times before we never saw her again, till last week. Lucio only seemed to hate her more after Massimo broke his nose and dad made him attend therapy. Therapy only got Lucio so far though, when he became old enough dad let him start training for the mafia. He started him off with boxing and before long Lucio became fascinated with it, excelling in all types of martial arts.

"M-mattia?" I turn to face Marcella as she rubs her arm, a nervous tic she seems to have not lost.

"Yeah?" I ask her softly. Her brows crinkle and she seems stuck in thought, " Ell?"

Her eyes shoot to mine and she quickly rushes, "S-sorry, um the food. It um dinged."

"Right, " An awkward silence stretched between us as I dished the food. Loud footsteps could be heard as I passed hers over to her and she seemed a little on edge. "Are you okay?"

She gave me a quick nod before side-eyeing the kitchen door, "I- um, I just," She sighed, " I haven't seen Tomasso and Zeno since they found out."

I cringe a little and rub my neck, "ahh right, that. I'm sorry, it was my fault I didn't realise it was a secret," I somehow always manage to cause shit without meaning it.

"H-how did you find out?" She asks me with a frown, glancing up at me while she blows on the noodles.

Did she not remember?

"Your panic attack in the car?" I remind her and her eyes widen as she realises.

"I forgot about that," She whispers in a daze.