As our little memories finds their way back in,
Thinking of you always end up with me in pain,
Please tell me, when would it be us again?
***
I feel the cold breeze touch my face as I was running around the neighbourhood. November is always one of those cold months. I'm actually enjoying the cold weather, well, I'm always in a cold place, and I mean my office gets pretty cold because the air-conditioning is centralized.
Today is one of those runs: runs which I use for thinking. I stop myself from crying. I always do. I hate the feel of stirring emotions in me. I'm not a big fan of feeling love.
I hate love or rather I hate myself because I traded love for my career.
It's not a big deal actually, I wanted this career. Look at me now; I'm one of the most respected Operations Manager. All my efforts paid off.
Well, that's how I usually am; always trying to fend off the pain because I'm scared of getting hurt all over again but if you think of it...
I inflicted the pain to myself.
I did this to myself.
I shrugged at those thoughts and just continued to run.
I got home at 10AM and I started to fix myself so I can sleep. This is my routine. It has been this way since... I don't know.
I checked my phone and my best friend-slash-ex boyfriend (long story short, we're better off as friends) Ralph left me a message.
From: Ralph
Word got out. Ur X is mad @ u. Sum1 says iz bcoz of our fyt on social. Dunno yet. Keep u upd8d. Stysf. -R
Crap. I mean really now?
To: Ralph
Whudaya mean by mad? I didn't do anything to him!
From: Ralph
U + Avie. Ur X stil stuck. U kno?
To: Ralph
Deng.
From: Ralph
Ikr? Now sleep. :)
To: Ralph
Nighty :)
I deposited my phone to the cabinet at my right and lay on my bed.
Rupert's mad at me.
It wasn't supposed to be a shocker; I knew it'll come around but the news still a shock.
I'm the one who made him mad at me because I knew he's going to be stuck in the moving on process so I took the matter in my own hands.
I asked someone to play pretend boyfriend for me so that Rupert won't get his hopes up. My pretend boyfriend, who happens to be a cabinet gay dude, Avie, suggested that we should make it seem that we're on for a year. And a year would be too much, because it'll overlap my relationship span with Rupert. I agreed, and we played out our little show.
Eventually, our show played a little too well. It seemed that most of everyone thinks we're actually together and Avie and I have no decision in putting those off yet because we need Rupert to move on but it backfired, obviously. While most of everyone's happy for us, Rupert and his crew got mad at me because I "played" Rupert, which is the whole idea of pretend boyfriend, but the whole crew-mad-at-me went overboard.
