The Walmart

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Written on November 11, 2020

Damon crawled out of his dumpster, craving something. That thing, in particular, was a man. A man named Jamie Hewlett.

Damon slithered on to the street in search of this man. He searched far and high. He searched around and down under. After 5 long hours, he spotted him. Jamie. Sitting outside of a coffee shop. Damon crossed the street, practically running.

"Jamie!" He said, out of breath.

Jamie looked up at him and rolled his eyes. "What do you want?"  He sipped his coffee like a homo.

Damon sat at the small brown table across from his man and farted. "I missed you." He said lovingly.

"I lichrally sawh you last night. We went to the meewvies. Are you drunk?" Jamie said, annoyed, tapping his cigarette on the edge of his coffee mug.

"No, no. I just really needed to see you." Damon widened his eyes and stared at Jamie's small British lips.

Jamie swallowed his cigarette. "Wehll, you're seeing me. What now?"

Damon looked around nervously. "Can we walk?"

Jamie slowly stood up. "Fine."

The two old men walked down the street, and Jamie didn't know where they were headed, but Damon knew...because he had a plan.

They walked for blocks and blocks. Jamie was starting to get tired.

He dragged his feet and sighed. "Where the fouhck are we going Damon? It's been chew hours!" He yelled.

"Aeowuuh." Damon replied.

"Ok." Jamie said.

The old men kept walking. They walked around another corner, and that's when Jamie saw it. The Walmart. The glorious Walmart, looking beautiful under the sunset.

"My favouerit place." Damon smiled, his gold
tooth shimmering under the streetlights.

"You're gay." Jamie said.

"Only for you, babeh." Damon smirked.

Jamie eyed Damon. "Ahhh I see why you brought me here."

"Yes it's moiyh fayvoriuht plaice...to fuck." Damon winked. He grabbed Jamie's hand and the men walked towards the Walmart.

"Ughhh but I'm tireeeeddd." Jamie pouted. "And not really in theh mood."

Damon frowned, stopping in his tracks, "I'm sure I can change that." He whispered, leaning in for a kiss.

He wrapped his arms around the skinny man, kissing him hard. Jamie squirmed, but he was enjoying it.

"Mmsmsshmmm Jayyyhm." Damon muttered, kissing him sloppily.

"Aheoiuh." Jamie coughed, trying not to breathe in the horrible stench of Damon's breath. It smelled like boiled eggs and beer.

"Ok." Damon pulled away. "We need to be somewhere private. Come on."

He started walking, and they made their way to the back of the Walmart.

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