Opposites (boyxboy)

Confused (Dask's Pov)

Jo confuses me. He has pretty much done so since we first met. Unpredictable, excitable, carefree, outspoken, daring are all words I'd use to describe him. The other side of him are his moods, his quick temper, lack of patience and impulsiveness, that often times got him or I, or even the both of us into trouble.

Most of the time I went along with whatever Jo wanted to do. It wasn't only easier for me that way, he also had a knack of getting me to trust him and his ideas on anything and everything.

Watching Jo walk away, a part of me wanted to chase after him, but my legs felt heavy and I sank to the ground instead. The look on his face before he walked away was heartbreaking. I already regretted what I'd said to him. I looked out at the ocean, feeling numb.

Jax has said I have no backbone around Jo. It both annoyed and, weirdly, pleased me. I don't want to be seen as spineless, it's insulting, not least because I'm a guy, and I like to think I know my own mind. In a way, it made me happy that Jax had observed the closeness between Jo and I, because I liked people knowing that I had a soft spot for Jo. He might annoy some people, but I think those people, including Jax, are just jealous of him.

I'd gotten caught up in the moment. Jo's lips had felt amazing. I had never wanted anyone as much as I wanted him, to kiss me, hold me and touch me.

He'd said he'd been thinking about kissing me for a long time, and by the time I'd registered what he'd said, we were full on kissing again.

I started to question why I still liked to fool around and even kiss my best friend, at sixteen years old. I'd liked kissing him more than any of the girls I'd ever kissed.

More questions filled my head. Why didn't he say anything before? Why did he hold back from fooling around with me for a whole year? How long has he wanted to kiss me? Doesn't it matter that he's not being faithful to Kelly anymore? Am I some back up while he's on vacation? He's regularly ditched me for her in the past year, does he kiss her like that? What happens when vacation is over?

I gently pushed him away.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I...we...you...I," he said, struggling to answer.

Typical Jo, he didn't even know why he was kissing me. I've caught him at times, during the past year, watching my lips. He's given hints, using joking comments, that he'd thought of kissing me. But why, when he has a girlfriend to kiss and make out with regularly? Is it some novelty?

A part of me couldn't help thinking maybe Jax had been right. Maybe Jo didn't care about me as much as I thought. Maybe I'm just a convenience for him, someone who goes along with whatever he says and wants whenever he wants it. I wasn't sure of what I was doing anymore. I was confused.

"I just thought..." he continued, then stopped. He didn't try to go on and explain himself further.

I had missed messing around with Jo this past year and the feeling of being close to him, but it didn't mean I'd wanted him to kiss me.

"What? That I wanted some guy to kiss me?" I couldn't think with him on top of me. I gently, but firmly, pushed him to the side, stood up and brushed myself off.

"I'm not just some guy, Dask."

"No, you're suppose to be my best friend." I didn't know why I was so upset or angry with him.

"I am your best friend."

"No, you're not. Not anymore," I said. The moment I said it, I regretted it. I'd never said anything like that before, to him. I wasn't sure why I said it now.

"What?" he asked.

The hurt in his eyes was painful to see. I tried to ignore it as I shook my head and began to walk away.

I wasn't sure what I was doing, but I knew I had to get away from him. I needed to sort out the thoughts inside my head.

Jo grabbed me by the elbow, but I shook him off me.

"What the hell, Dask!"

"Leave me alone, Jo."

"I wasn't thinking!"

"Clearly!"

"Can you let me explain?"

"No," I said.

"You kissed me back!"

"No, I didn't."

"You did!"

I shook my head, continuing to walk away. "It meant nothing," I said.

"Dask!"

I continued trying to ignore him. Any moment, I could feel myself giving in to him. I had limited defenses around him.

All his ideas seemed good at the time. He isn't one to take no for an answer, especially with me, and especially if he saw the slightest hesitation in me. I needed to be blunt and firm and sharp enough to get him to back off. Otherwise, he'd have me convinced, in no time, this was a good idea. He'd do it so easily, probably in a matter of seconds too.

"We can barely keep our hands off each other," he said.

"We're just horny."

"For eachother," he said.

"You're wrong."

"Am I?" he asked.

"Yes." I rarely argued with Jo, but he kept following me and I didn't know what else to do.

"How many times during this past year have you wanted us to make out?" he asked.

I stopped walking. Will he ever let up? No, I concluded, this is Jo we're talking about.

"It's not making out," I replied.

"What is it then?"

I looked out at the ocean, trying to find answers and solutions and even trying to understand what the problem was and how we'd got here. Was it making out? I'd always thought of it as fooling around. We'd been bored and horny and we trusted each other not to tell anyone.

"How many times during the past year have you thought about what we use to do?" he asked me.

I knew I didn't want to think about it. I started walking away again, not answering him. Couldn't he see I needed space? That I was confused? I needed to get away from him, to think.

"How many times have you touched yourself thinking about it?" he called after me.

What the hell? Does he really think I fantasize about us? I stopped walking and turned around to face him. "Never!"

"Really?" he asked, moving closer to me. "How many times have you wanted me to touch you?" he said.

He just couldn't let it rest. Does he really think my whole world revolves around him? Maybe it does, to a certain extent. Maybe I have wanted him to touch me. It doesn't mean I want him. "I don't want you!" I said.

Jo looked angry. He moved away from me. "Well, I don't want you either!" he yelled.

I'd never seen Jo so angry, but more than that, I'd never seen him so frustrated and hurt. To think I was the one that caused it, pained me.

He walked away so quickly, I didn't have a chance to say anything. I didn't know what I would have said anyway.

I watched him walk away, feeling sick inside. I sank to the ground, confused and feeling more alone than I ever had before, in my life.

---

Thank you so much for reading!

I had Dask's pov written up before I posted the last chapter, but I accidently deleted it. It was a struggle remembering exactly what was going on inside Dask's head at the time of their argument. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but I hope it makes sense and does justice to Dask's feelings of confusion.

Lots of ♡

- dreamydaze