Opposites (boyxboy)

Second Chances (Dask's Pov)

I felt like I had a cold, from when I was crying last night. My head felt stuffy, my throat felt scratchy and my nose felt like it had been rubbed raw, from repeatedly being wiped last night.

I tried to blink my eyelids open, but my eyelashes felt stuck together. I managed to pry them open after rubbing the sleep away.

I thought I must have been dreaming, when I discovered I was wrapped firmly within Jo's arms. He held me closely, with my back against his chest. I breathed in his fresh, musky scent, as his strong arms embraced me. Happiness seeped into every cell of my body. He'd come back to sleep next to me.

He was a determined one, Jo. He never gave up without a fight. He had seen right through me. I was so lucky to have him in my life.

I turned in his arms to face him and smiled at what I saw. Over half of his face, including his mouth and most of his nose, was squished into the pillow. It looked like he had barely enough room to breathe behind it. Yet somehow, tiny flutters of his breath still managed to escape, and gently caressed my cheek with its warmth.

Careful to not wake him, I smoothed the pillow away from his face a little. The skin on one side of his face had temporary pink splotches and shallow crease lines that lightly marked it. The short ends of his hair were plastered to the sides of his face and a bead of sweat had settled above the red line of his lips. A tiny drop of clear drool had collected in one corner of his mouth. He would die if he saw himself like this. I couldn't help but be full of fondness for my best friend.

I wondered if that was something I was still allowed to call him. My stomach plummeted as I thought about what I'd said yesterday. I felt so guilty about it. I don't even know what possessed me to say it. I wish I'd never said anything. I wish I could take it back and wipe it clear from Jo's mind. I felt both ashamed and upset with myself. I was surprised he came back in here to sleep next to me.

I'd wanted to make amends with him last night, but then I saw he'd taken his things out of our room and I knew I needed to give him some space.

I'd felt awful last night. It reminded me that it was far easier for me to just go along with whatever Jo said and did, because if I had, I would have avoided upsetting him and I wouldn't have felt so bad about myself.

I wondered if he'd seen the nearly empty tissue box on the bedside table, or the many used tissues in the waste basket near the bed. If he had, he would know I'd been crying. It would explain the tight grip he had on me at the moment.

He always has been protective of me, worried when I was upset or crying. Knowing that he knew I'd been crying, I felt embarrassed, but glad he knew I'd felt bad after what I'd said.

Jo's legs twitched a little as he stirred from sleep. I watched his eyelids open, and his eyes adjust to the surroundings. Once he'd gained his wits about him, his eyes focused on me. They were immediately full of concern.

My voice was quiet when I said, "I'm sorry, Jo," The heaviness in my heart weighed on me. I was filled with regret as our eyes held. "I'd never want to stop being friends. I don't know why I said what I did." I held my breath as I waited for him to say something.

He didn't remove his arms from around me, though he had loosened his hold on me a little. I was glad he didn't immediately release me the moment he woke. It gave me some sort of reassurance and hope.

Jo observed me for a little, before he responded gently, "I'm sorry too. I don't know why, but I thought you wanted me to kiss you. I probably shouldn't have."

"Probably."

"I didn't mean to upset you, Dask."

"I know."

"I thought, you know, it was something we'd never tried before. I was curious. I should have known you didn't want to do that sort of thing anymore."

"It's not that I don't want to still do stuff, sometimes. I just, wasn't expecting you to kiss me. I'm sorry for freaking out. It's just, you're still with Kelly and we're older and I don't know if it's the right thing to do anymore."

"That's why I stopped in the first place."

"So why start up again?" I asked.

"Been thinking about it. Couldn't get it out of my head, really. I thought, what the hell, we're only young once and we're stuck on this island with no one else around. Who's to say we're too old to experiment?" Jo shrugged.

I admitted, "I kind of did want something to happen yesterday."

"You did?"

"Yeah."

"Got more than you bargained for then?" His face took on his typical, cheeky 'Jo smile'.

"Something like that," I said.

We both looked at each other and laughed.

Jo said, "I guess I went past your threshold of 'Jo craziness' for the day." He used his fingers to make italics, a silly grin on his face.

I laughed. "I guess."

"So, how was it?" he asked.

"You tell me." I wasn't sure I wanted to reveal how good it had felt.

"I asked first," he said.

"I asked second." I'd learned to say that from Jo, it had always worked on me when he said it.

"That doesn't count," he said.

"It matters when you say it."

He laughed.

"You've got..." his eyes looked away for a moment, before they awkwardly returned back to me, "nice looking lips."

I felt my face heat up in embarrassment. "Ah, thanks," I said. I knew my lips were a little bigger than average, and probably not what some people would think was normal, or even manly, for a guy. It was something I felt shy about sometimes, especially when I caught people staring at them. I laughed a little, trying to ease the sudden tension that seemed to engulf us.

Jo watched me steadily, and I felt my heart beat faster in my chest. My body had burned with some kind of want yesterday, much like it was beginning to now.

"We can still do this, right?" he asked.

"Huh?" I wasn't sure what he was talking about any more. It was getting harder for me to think.

"This," he said, and held me tighter.

"Yes." I became acutely aware of the heat of his body. I felt myself becoming hot and noticing every part of our bodies that was touching.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to push you into doing anything you don't want to do. I don't want to upset you again."

"Okay."

There was a small silence while we looked into each others eyes.

I whispered, "Jo?"

"Yeah?"

"Kiss me."

Jo's eyes widened. "Are you sure?"

I nodded my head.

Jo's voice was husky when he said, "Okay."

He took his time leaning in, giving me a chance to pull away if I changed my mind. His mouth lightly hovered over mine, his breath warming my lips. Then, his lips lightly brushed against mine; once, twice, and then he kissed me.

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- dreamydaze