In the shadows || shewrites_772

|| chapter 3 ||

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️ATTEMPTED SUICDE⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

It's 3rd period again. I'm sitting across from Darin and I have my head down but I can tell. He's staring directly at me waiting for me to move and deciding if he should ask me if I'm okay or if im not.

im tired. my eyes hurt my body is giving up. I have marks all over me from last night. My dad wasn't happy with me when I got home late and when he got a call from the school saying I skipped. Let's just say another lamp is broken.

my head is pounding from all the screaming and crying and everything. i no longer have any motivation to live anymore everything and everyone gave up on me and I have started to give up too.

I plan on killing myself. Tonight. None of my parents are gonna be home my mom is out of town and my dad well. He just told me he wasn't gonna be here until tomorrow. Im alone. Invisible if you would.

No one notices anything I do. I'm not here. But I am.

The bell rings making me jump. I can't feel my body it's here but gone at the same time. my eyes are heavy. I can't focus on anything but my breathing. In and out.

In and out.

In.

Out.

It gets slower and changes everyday. The more I no longer find interest in anything the more it slows down. Waiting. Patiently. Until it just. Stops.

***

It's now lunch and im sitting alone with my head down. I hear someone walk to me. They sit. I Lift my head and see Darin. Just sharing at me like I'm dead already. Which I am. I died 17 months ago. But no one noticed because there was no blood or there wasn't anything traumatic. I was just simply gone.

"Hey v" Darin says while giving me the kindness smile.
"Hey??.." I say confused on to why he's talking to me. I Look back and see the rest of the football team laughing at him because he's with. Well. Me.

"Why are u here?" I ask him.
"Well good question I have a party tonight since it's my birthday I'm turning 17 and I was wondering if u would wanna come!" He smiles and waits for my answer.

"I." I sigh "I don't know parties aren't my thing and I'm. I'm busy." Knowing I have other plans for tonight.
He rolls his eyes and says "pleaseee I want you to come you can hangout with me and if u don't like it I can bring u home" he begs me.

"why?" I ask curiously. "Well because it seems like your here physically but mentally your gone and your somewhere completely else and no one speaks to u and u have no friends." He shrugs "your lonely I feel bad" he says

"I don't need your pity Darin I'm perfectly fine and I like to be alone. I choose to be alone" I lie.
"You should get back to your team." I look back and they and see them laughing.

He looks back at the team and smacks his lips. His jaw tightens and he looks mad for some reason. "I didn't mean it as I'm only doing this out of pity I just wanted to invite u because you seem interesting" he says. I don't reply I just look at him awkwardly. "Well think about it it starts at 5:30" he writes his phone number on a napkin with a smiley face.

Before I can say something to him he's gone.

I stare at the napkin with his number and that smiley face

"Darin's number - 687-889-2359 :)"

I grab the Napkin and crumble it into my bookbag.

I sigh out of defeat. I don't want to go but I will feel bad if I don't. He's the only one who has talked to me in 3 years.

***

It's not 3:45 the school day has ended and im writing. Letters for everyone telling them what they want to here the usual. "It's not your fault" "im sorry" "i love u" "it's gonna be okay" I feel selfish but im tired.

I dig into my bookbag and get out the napkin with Darin's number on it. I grab my phone that has no notifications and I decide if I should text him or not.

I decide to text him. Only because I want to apologize.

V: hey. It's Veronica I'm sorry I can't make it I'm busy tonight. Thanks though.

Darin: aww I really wish you could well If u want to talk or go for a walk or anything I'm here! I'll see u at school??

V: yeah. For sure.

I put on a black hoodie and sweats and I go to my bathroom. I open my drawer and take out the bottle of pills and I place them by the bath tube. I take the blade out of my phone case and set my phone down where the pills are. I take 8 pills and I roll my sleeves up.

I go to press down into my skin when I get disturbed but my door bell ringing. i ignore it hoping the person got the wrong house. I go under the water with my eyes opened. not breathing, not talking, not hearing. Absolutely feeling nothing. I begin to close my eyes and drift away when someone grabs me out of the water and screams my name over and over again.

I try to see who it is but the pills messed me up. I can't focus and my hearing is gone all I can hear is my heart not beating.

"V! Wake up!!" He shouts.

I begin to open my eyes and see things a bit more clearly. I see Darin. Standing over me and watching me as I'm wishing to die.

"What. What are u doing Darin go away!" I shout at him crying forming into a ball in my bathroom corner.

"No. I'm not leaving u. Why did you do that?! You could've died!." He snaps back.

"I should've died." I said correcting him.
"Please just go away I don't need you here I don't even know u" I start to cry.

"I don't want to leave u" he comes close to me and sits next to me. I flinch as I feel his hand around me. I start to shake and sob. I bang my head against the wall.

"Darin. Please. Let me go." I sob to him
He holds me tighter and says "no your not leaving. Not yet"

....