Love is an illusion

12

"Stop teasing me," I said, half laughing as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. He kissed my neck softly and whispered, "Let's go on a trip together." He's been saying about this trip since we started dating five months ago. In those five months we been having some kind relationship that nobody knows about. I would spend almost every night at his place.

My dad has been send to a specialist nursing home for chronic illnesses, so they can i take beter care of him. I visit him three times per week and it's seems like everything is going well for us.

I was just thinking about dad and all the stuff that needs to be done when I felt a hand on my stomach. Him hugging me always feels so reassuring.

"Wait, now?" I asked, gently pushing him away to look at his face. His eyes were serious. "We're both off work next week," he said, brushing his lips across my cheek. "We could finally spend some time together, just us." He leans forward to give me a kiss but I turn away. I don't really want to bring this subject to the surface. It's kind of eating me alive too.

A sharp pang of frustration hit me, and I pulled away entirely. "But what about your fiancée?" I asked, my voice trembling with the weight of the question. It felt like we were circling the same conversation, endlessly. Five months of stolen moments, but the same reality hung over us like a dark cloud—he was still engaged. Promised to marry some else. "You keep telling me there's nothing left between you two, but how am I supposed to believe that?" How is that even remotely reassuring, just meaningless words when there is no action.

He sighed, a mix of exasperation and guilt flashing in his eyes. "I've told you," he began, his voice strained, "I'm going to end it. I just need more time."

"You've been saying that for months," I shot back, my emotions bubbling to the surface. "She's still your fiancée! You're still showing up to events with her, and I'm stuck here, waiting. It feels like you're just stringing me along." My voice cracked under the weight of it, and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

His hands clenched into fists as he ran them through his hair in frustration. "It's not easy for me either," he muttered, pacing the room. "You don't understand what it's like. My family has these... expectations. They wouldn't accept anyone outside of this arrangement." His voice softened, and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "I can't break off the engagement unless Celine agrees to it too. I've been trying to talk her into it for months."

I shook my head, feeling the anger rise. "Why are you taking this out on me?" He demands. "I'm nit taking this out on you—it's about your own fear of standing up for yourself! You're not a child anymore, so why can't you just make your own choices?" The words felt like they'd been building inside me for weeks, and finally burst out.

"I've explained it to you," he said, raising his voice, clearly at his breaking point. "Our families arranged this marriage when we were kids. It's not just about us—it's about keeping both families in power, keeping our futures secure. If anyone finds out about us, it could ruin everything—my career, her and mine's reputation, our lives."

"So I'm ruining your life?" My eyes start to water. He grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him. I just push him away from me.

A cold sense of dread washed over me. "But what if she doesn't agree to end it?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper. "What then?" I searched his face, desperate for any kind of reassurance.

He didn't flinch. His answer was quick, almost too quick. "She will," he said, but there was no warmth in his voice. Just cold certainty.

Without another word, he grabbed his clothes and walked out, leaving me there, my heart sinking deeper, wondering if I'd ever truly know where I stood in his world.

Even though Miles never gave me the clarity I needed, I still found myself seeing him all the time. It became a habit—spending my nights at his place instead of my own. But he's like a secret I can't share with the world.

But something about this relationship feels off. Why are we always hiding? I know why—he's engaged to someone else. I'm the other woman, and I hate that, but I can't stop loving him. I know it's wrong, yet I can't let go of him. I feel deep down that he shares the same feelings for me. Well at least I hope he shares those feelings with me. I really just don't want to think about entire ordeal anymore.

Waking up in his arms every day feels like paradise, and I never want it to end. He's become my whole world, and though I know this can't last, I still cling to hope. Maybe a miracle will happen—or maybe I'll make one happen.