Love is an illusion

3

23 October 2016

After months of job hunting, I finally landed a position at NYU Langone Health. It still feels surreal, even if it's not a full contract—it's a start. Today's my first day, and I'm more excited than scared. I was so nervous last night that I barely slept.

Since it's my first day, I decided to keep it simple with a white blouse and dress pants. As I look in the mirror, I smile and give myself a little pep talk. "You've got this, Jane."

"Sweetie, come have breakfast!" my dad calls from the kitchen. I grab my things and head to the dining room.

"Congrats, sweetheart. You must be excited," he says, his face beaming.

"I am!" I reply, rushing to hug him tightly. "You have no idea what I went through to get this job."

"My little girl must be exhausted," he says, patting my head.

I smile and sit down next to him. Dad's retired from office work and now runs a small diner. We moved to Brooklyn five years ago, and our apartment has a great view. I still think about Mom and my sister sometimes, wondering where they are, but not as often as I did when I was younger.

"I should get going. Love you, Dad," I say, standing up and putting on my coat.

"Have fun, sweetie," he says, smiling again as I head out the door.

I walk to the subway station, the ride to the hospital taking about 30 minutes.

When I arrive at the hospital, I'm a bundle of nerves. I swear hospitals always have that odd smell—like a mix of disinfectant and, well... death.

*Splash!* Something hot drenches my blouse, and I jump in shock.

I just ran straight into someone, and judging by his horrified expression, he was as shocked as I was. He stares at me, wide-eyed, before blurting out, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?"

"Seriously? You just poured hot coffee all over me!" I nearly shout, frustrated beyond belief. Great, now I'm soaked on my first day.

"I'm sorry. I'll pay for your clothes," he says, clearly flustered.

He fumbles in his pocket and pulls out a business card. "Here, take this. Just call me, and I'll cover the cost."

Without another word, he starts walking away, as if handing me a card makes everything okay.

"Hey!" I call after him, running to catch up. "Just to be clear, I don't need money for my clothes." I shove the card back into his hand and walk away without looking back.

Thankfully, I make it to the neurosurgery department before anyone notices the huge coffee stain on my blouse. After changing into my nurse's uniform, I head to the common room to introduce myself.

"I'm Jane Sterling," I say, smiling nervously as I take a seat. Everyone greets me warmly.

"I'm Carla Brown," the girl next to me says. "I'm new here too, but this isn't my first day," she adds with a bright smile.

Carla and I are chatting when we hear a knock on the door.

"Carla, are you in there?" A deep voice calls from outside.

"Yeah, come in!" Carla replies.

The door opens, and my stomach drops. Standing in the doorway is the man who spilt coffee all over me this morning.

We lock eyes for a moment, but he quickly turns to Carla. "Have you checked on Mrs. Johnson yet?" he asks, pretending like I don't exist. They start discussing patients as if nothing happened.

Turns out, this guy is a neurosurgeon in our department. Just my luck! My day goes from bad to worse. Not only did he ruin my morning, but now I have to work under him. Perfect.

The rest of the day, I catch him side-eyeing me from across the room. It's as if "I'm" the one who poured coffee on "him".

Unfortunately, that was just the beginning. My entire first week is a disaster. I've been assigned to work under Dr. Rochefort, the very same man who spilt coffee on me. And let me tell you, he's making my life a living hell.

It's like he has a checklist of complaints. "Wash your hands before you do anything." "Why aren't you checking the reports?" "You take too many bathroom breaks." "Your lunch break is over; get back to work."

He doesn't seem to care that I'm new and still figuring things out. Every little thing I do is wrong in his eyes. I'm so frustrated I feel like I'm about to lose my mind. This is what I've been dreaming of for months, and it's all going so, so wrong.

This man is driving me to the brink of insanity. If things keep going like this, I might just jump out the nearest window.