Forever yours

Love and Lust

*Kevin*

To say I was angry was probably the understatement of the century. I was seething, but not because I was mad at the woman standing in front of me, but more because I hated myself for starting that stupid fight.

Of course she had stood by Mick. He was her brother. And actually he couldn't help it. I simply hadn't been good enough and had therefore been kicked out of Formula 1. But that didn't make it any easier for me to cope with the fact that my dream had been shattered.

I had started the fight with her because...

I don't know. I had simply been angry. But never at her.

She was the best damn thing in my life and I had been an ass. So I hadn't contacted her again so I could give her a chance to decide for herself when she talked to me again. Because she could be a damn stubborn person.

But I really didn't expect her to get engaged right away. And why she thought I had a new one was also puzzling to me. I had waited for her, what did I want with someone else? I wanted her. Always her.

"Leave it, Kevin. I'm marrying him and I'm sure you won't talk me out of it!" she tried to pull away from me, but I pressed her back against the container with my body.

I could feel how much she was trying to fight this. But she could no more do without me than I could do without her.

My fingers slid along her jaw into her hair. I just wanted to kiss her. That had been my first thought after I agreed to drive for Haas again. I knew she would be with Mick and then she would be with me again.

After a year and a half of rehab, it was damn hard not to take her right back to my hotel and keep everyone else in the hall awake for the rest of the night.

But it was the ring that kept me from even kissing her. I could tell she didn't love him. If she did, she would have said so long ago. She had never kept her opinions to herself. Especially not in front of me, because with me she had never had to pretend. She had always been able to be herself and always had been.

Nevertheless, I didn't want to put her in a situation that she would regret later. But I also didn't want her to marry this guy. I didn't care what his name was or who he was.

She was mine. Only mine.

"You know he'll never make you as happy as I am. And you'll never love him like you love me. You'll wish every night that you weren't lying next to him, that you were lying next to me. And you'll regret it every day when you wake up next to him instead of next to me.".

I could see tears welling up in her eyes. Carefully, I took a step back. I hadn't meant to make her cry. I had only wanted to make her realize that she was walking into something she would regret. She wasn't going to be happy.

"We had our chances, Kevin. But we never made it. And maybe that should be a sign to us. Maybe we were never meant to be together. Maybe we never made it because it just didn't fit."

"That's not true and you know it. You know you love me. And you know I love you, too. So why are you running away from it? Why don't you just give him back his ring, which, by the way, doesn't fit you at all, and stay with me, where you belong?"

"I can't do that," she shook her head, but avoided my gaze.

I grabbed her chin again and forced her to look at me "Why? Give me one good reason."

"I would disappoint so many people."

"And you? Do you really want it? Are you happy with it?" she closed her eyes and shook her head.