Forever yours

cousin Max

*Luisa*

I hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night. Not even when I had snuck into Kevin's hotel room. He had immediately fallen deeply asleep, but I had not been able to sleep. I had already thrown up twice today from sheer nervousness and was now sitting at the big table, still as white as a sheet.

We were having our annual "family dinner." It had been such a tradition for a while that before the first race we got all the Schumachers and Verstappens together and ate in a restaurant. All with partners, of course.

So I had planned to take the opportunity to tell everyone right away that Ben and I had split up. I wanted to do it like a band-aid. Short and painless.

Only Kelly I had let in on it beforehand, because I definitely needed someone to talk to about it. She sat next to me and held my hand under the table, while around us, everyone was talking in a good mood.

It was a big mess, as usual, until Dad stood up and slammed his knife against his glass. Immediately everyone fell silent.

"Well, almost everyone is here now, except Ben." he said, looking in my direction "Honey, do you know when he'll show up here? Should we wait?".

My heart was racing with panic and I was starting to feel sick again. Kelly squeezed my hand under the table.

"He's not coming," I replied, and a little more quietly slipped in a "We broke up," after it.

Immediately, the voices at the table overlapped. Everyone was talking in complete confusion. I sank down in my chair.

"What, why?", Dad looked at me and immediately everyone was silent again.

"We... He's not the one and I wasn't the one for him either. He's trying again with his ex-girlfriend and I... ehm I also..."

"But Ben was a good one!" that was Jos, leaning forward a bit "You should have tried harder, then he wouldn't have gone back to his ex either.".

My uncle and I have always had a pretty strained relationship with each other.

"I...", I tried.

"But why? I don't understand. You were so happy, weren't you?" said Mom, looking really sad.

"But he was so nice!" remarked Victoria.

"I'm sure this will make big waves in the press," Sophie looked at me worriedly.

"Certainly won't reflect well on your reputation," Jos agreed with her.

"Is he all right then?" asked Mick.

"And why so suddenly?" asked Mom, wiping her eyes with a napkin.

Kelly squeezed my hand a little tighter. I saw the disappointed looks on my parents' faces. The accusing look from Jos.

My heart began to race as tears welled up in my eyes.

"Maybe you guys can try again. Maybe if you talk again and...", I knew Mick was just trying to mediate, but I was really hoping someone would take my side.

Not one of them had asked about me. No one had asked me how I was doing. And apparently, no one cared what I wanted either.

I let go of Kelly's hand, stood up, and left without another word.

I had said what I wanted to say. What they made of it was up to them. But it hurt like hell that no one had asked what was going on inside me.

I didn't get far, though, as Kelly appeared at my side and took my hand again.

"Max is just pounding the table. He was really pissed off that everyone was trying to run your life. He sent me so you wouldn't be alone right now.".
„Just feels really shitty that no one is asking how I'm doing with it. I can understand them being sad and maybe disappointed, but aren't I important?"