Hooked

071

raxel.

I found myself gently floating amongst the crowd that seemed to be lost with the blaring music. Looking back at the non-existent records of my rebellion, this should be the first time I've been invited to a liberal party. Perhaps it doesn't even count as an invite because Ysha hosted it.

Nonetheless, I'm here with an outfit I randomly pulled from my closet and called it a costume-so I might stay longer than a blink.

Actually, there's just one reason.

Her beauty remains captivating even from a dark lit room. She looked a little different with her hair curled and tied lazily behind her head. She wore fake specs that has an unflattering thick frame. Her shirt was oversized, vandalized with words I couldn't read in our proximity. But from here, I'm sure she's wearing a really comfortable checkered pajamas.

Ang ganda naman.

My breathing hitched when our gazes momentarily met. Swiftly as I can, I walked towards the table of drinks.

"Nice! You actually dressed up!" Yshalia appeared from thin air. She had a cheeky smile wearing her sailor moon costume. I snickered. The effort she threw for her attire is commendable, I can say.

"What are you? A spy?" tanong niya at sumimsim sa hawak na baso.

"A corpse." I replied and grabbed a glass. "Are these alcoholic?"

She pursed her lips and shook her head profusely. "Of course not! Like you said." Ysha looked at me as if I owe her something for requesting the bare minimum. I can't believe she's the Vice President of our department's council.

She suddenly snapped. "Ay by the way, I got something for you. Malapit doon sa may pool. You should get it." Pinagtutulak niya ako. A lopsided grin rose in my lips. She's an awful actress. I know what she's doing.

She doesn't have to, to be honest. I came here for one reason and that is her.

"I will." Tipid akong ngumiti.

I can't wait to have see her again. Closely. Not close enough to touch but close enough to make me feel that in here, in this time and space, I'm with her and she's with me. Just the both of us. Amidst the crowd.

Every moment I was away from her orbit felt nothing close to comfort. May have been a distance away from torture, or probably worse. It is because of how warm she is to have around, how she makes any burden lighter to carry and how in every subject of uncertainties, she just happens to be the one thing I'm sure of.

Now that I'm just a few steps away; I feel weak. Knees feeble and heart on its softest shape.

Only Arielle can make me melt like this.

"You like her, don't you?"

It was one morning, I remember. A folder filled with drafts that will be reviewed for the journalism club's newspaper publication was clutched between my arms.

The shock and fluster over Stella's remark still lingers like a over-played tune. There's only one girl she can possibly talk about.

"Aahitin ko kilay ko kung mali ako!" She raised her hand enough to cover her mouth, suppressing a chuckle.

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle-only with no motions of suppression. "I do. I like Arielle."

She sighed heavily and raised the frame of her round glasses. "Sayang. Type pa naman kita."

My eyes widened for an instant. "Me?"

"What's so shocking about that? Everyone likes you. Mapa-babae or lalake! Sheesh. Ikaw na." she laughed and jokingly rolled her eyes. Stella's comical antics contradicts her position as the Secretary of SSG.

I only laughed along as my eyes suddenly darted towards a direction. Arielle and Janris. They're walking side by side in the hallway, a few meters away.

By then, uneasiness filled my nerves. I'm not mad. Neither disappointed. Envious? A little. A bit.

And that's when I know it's real. When I tend to feel things I don't usually feel. When something dull within me starts to feel alive.

"Rax?" she called my name and I think I need a minute or two to exercise my response.

"Hey." it almost came out as a breath. Nervousness built a lump on my throat as I calculated my moves. I walked out of the sliding door and sat on the poolside beside her.

Silence permeated. Tension hightened. My system. . . remains in haywire.

"Alam kong wala tayong closure." Arielle started, clutching her sketchpad closer to her chest. "And. . . that really challenged me." she chuckled. It wasn't dry nor genuine. I guess I wasn't able to analyze it well as my mind continues to drown in haze.

"Sorry kung iniwan kita sa ere. Hindi. Iniwan kita sa ere and I'm really, really sorry for that." Arielle's voice emulated immense sincerity. Her eyes pierced through me in a soft, delicate way. How can a gesture kill and heal you at the same time?

"Arielle, look. Eve told me." I gently told her. My eyes clearly saw her reaction on what I said. I knew I had a lot to explain. And given that, I know well I have to take my time to be precise.

"Sinabi niya sa 'yo? A-Ang alin?"

"Everything." I sighed. "And I must say, I got upset. A little. But then she explained everything and. . . naintindihan ko."

"No! But still. . . mali pa rin ako. I should've said it. Na hindi ko inaasahan, na overwhelmed ako, that I felt bad for not being able to return all the love I receive." she sighed deeply and averted her gaze.

"I get it. I'd probably do the same if I was in your shoes." sambit ko.

"You don't have to comfort me. What I did was wrong and I should hold myself accountable."

A smile couldn't be helped the moment it rose in my lips. I was never wrong at loving this woman.

"Well, prepare to hold yourself accountable for the second time." My hand slid inside my tux's pocket. "I haven't given this to you. That night didn't go as planned so I happened to lousily confess without giving this to you." I chuckled.

Her small face channeled a confused expression. "Ano 'to?"

"Everything I feel converted into words." Ngumiti ako.

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