The Wedding

It had been 4 months. 4 months since you and Harry finally decided you would end your 2-year relationship. Though that makes it sound like a mutual decision. What is it that celebrity’s call it when they’re getting a divorce? Irreconcilable differences. As if there is nothing wrong, just a change in feelings. A mutual decision where two people decide, hey this isn’t working shall we just call it quits?

But that’s not how it felt to you. Harry had told you he wanted to end the relationship and you had no other option but to go along with it. What could you really have done? Refuse? And what, Harry would have just been like sure and stayed with you? No. You left the relationship holding some of your pride (you hoped), agreeing that it was best the relationship ended, even if that wasn’t what you wanted.

In all honesty it may have broken your heart more to do that then to have begged him to stay.

4 months may seem like a long time to some people, but after 2 years together, 4 months felt like a mere second to you. If you think about it you can still picture his face when he sat you down and told you that he no longer loved you. You can still feel the pain of your heart shattering in that moment. You can still feel the tears that ran down your face like a stream. You can feel the nod of your head as you struggle to hear his words, just nodding in agreement to whatever he is saying. And you can still see his back as he walked out the door, leaving you behind.  

Friends had told you he was not worth it, that you should move on. And it’s not like you hadn’t tried, you’d gone on a few dates, but none of them lived up to him. Which you were the first to admit sounded stupid, what guy that chose to leave you like that deserves you to grieve that much over him? You told yourself that you were just waiting for the right person to come along, but they were yet to show up. And it made you wonder whether Harry was it, whether he was the one that got away, whether you should have fought harder for him to stay, whether he was as good as it was ever going to get.

The last time you had seen him was when he walked out on you, and as you walk into the church of your friend’s wedding there should have been no surprise when you see Harry sitting on the groom’s side of the church. They were mutual friends after all, you friends with the bride, him the groom. Though you expected him to be here, there is still a bit of shock that courses through you when you see his figure.  

Listening to your friend Eleanor talk as you enter the church, you look around in search of some empty seats when you see him. The black suit jacket fits a little loose on his frame, making it look like he picked it up last minute and got one that didn’t quite fit right. But seeing his back causes flash backs of him walking out the door to run through your mind. Eleanors voice seems to fade into the background when you see him, only brought back to the present when she tugs lightly on your arm, directing you to a couple of empty seats.  

You attempt to push him from your mind, try to not glance over at him whenever you get the chance. From this angle you can only see his shoulder, and if the people in between you are aligned just right, you get a glance of his side profile. You can see that his hair is styled in the way that you always loved, his dark slightly curly hair flops down over his face covering his eyebrows a few strands poking into his eyes.  

Focusing on the wedding, watching your friend walk down the aisle, you manage to distract yourself enough to not think of him. Dressed in white, your friend looks beautiful and you have to hold back a few tears when they say their vowels. Standing to clap and cheer when the bride and groom kiss, you watch as they then walk back down the aisle hand in hand, beaming.  

Happiness is your overriding emotion, however you can’t help the pang of jealousy that swells within you, wishing that was you.  

Taking the glass of prosecco that is handed to you when you walk into the reception, you have to stop yourself from downing it all in one, instead taking one massive gulp. Eleanor and you had booked into a hotel close by, recommended by the bride and groom, so you had always planned to have a few drinks. The appearance of Harry only confirmed the fact that large quantities of alcohol were going to be consumed.