Heartbeat ~ A Heartstopper Sickfic Story

~ chapter 4 - heart ~

THE NEXT PART OF THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS REFERENCES OF SELF HARM.

PLEASE REFRAIN FROM READING THIS CHAPTER IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO THIS CERTAIN TOPIC.

Nick froze, his gaze fixed on his arms. He had barely made a dent, but he was still shocked at what he had done to himself.

"What... what have I done?" Nick exclaimed, regret and anger bursting through his voice, before being startled by a knock at the door.

"Nicholas, are you okay in there?"

Dr. Craig waited for Nick outside the bathroom door. He could tell Nick was agitated for whatever reason, so he waited for him to leave from the outside of the door.

Nick quickly washed his face with cold water to hide his red eyes and tried his best to cover up what had just happened. As he walked out, he made direct eye contact with the doctor.

"I heard you getting a bit upset in there. Are you okay, Nicholas?"

Nick's voice had vanished. He knew he couldn't just admit to trying to hurt himself because that would land him in a lot of trouble, so he knew he had to hide the truth.

"Oh, I just fell in the bathroom, it's fine," Nick lied, trying to appear tough despite his lack of confidence.

"Okay..." He took a brief pause, which Nick found slightly unsettling. "I've come to pick you up for your tests," the doctor said, looking Nick up and down as Nick tapped his fingers against his leg. "I promise it won't take long."

Nick was sceptical of his words because his tests seemed to last for hours at a time, with only brief breaks in between. However, Nick began to have some trust in his doctors because they were, after all, helping him. He then followed Dr. Craig into the exam room to prepare everything for the tests: electrodes, clips, monitors, and wires.

All of it felt like it was too much to handle.

~

Charlie laid in his bed, phone in hand, waiting.

Waiting for a single message.

A single call.

A single voicemail.

Anything from Nick to tell him that he was alright.

But what if he wasn't ? ? ?

Nick seemed to have been fine for so long until, well, he wasn't. He always seemed so happy for so long, but Charlie now knew that Nick was lying to him.

Every time he would say, "I'm fine, really, Charlie!"

He was lying to Charlie.

And lying to himself.

He was hiding his true pain from everyone, even himself. Charlie thought deeply for a long time, until he realised why Nick was doing this to himself.

He didn't want anyone to help him.

He wanted to tough it out.

But he couldn't anymore.

Even if he was offered help, he always refused because he knew he didn't need help from anyone.

He wanted him to say, "Yeah, I'm fairly ill right now." But it just came out as, "Oh, it's fine, it's nothing."

He wanted him to say, "I'm not feeling the best right now, I think I need a break." But it just came out as, "I'm not that bad, I promise you, Charlie."

He wanted him to say, "I do need a little bit of help from you, Charlie, in any way you can." But it just came out as, "You don't need to help me, Char, I promise."