Photograph

2

Kung akala niyo ay nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa para sa kanya. Diyan kayo nagkakamali.

I still approach her in and out of the room kahit alam kong naiilang ito sa kin. Sa mga unang araw hindi ako nito pinapansin pero later on she began laughing at my corny jokes. Then, nakikisabay na rin ito sa akin. She talks sweetly and her voice is like the most romantic song that I have ever heard in my entire life.

Were now closed and I am glad that she's finally breaking the ice between us. Nalaman ko na wala na rin pala ang Mommy niya because of a deadly disease, pareho lang kay Mama.
I didn' t want to make it a lot harder to her kaya hindi na ako nagtanong pa ng ibang detalye.

The moment she have given a chance to enter her life ay sinabi ko na hinding hindi ko sasayanging ang oportunidad na yun. I courted her, giving bouquet of flowers, boxes of chocolates and saying chessy lines just to prove that I am a hundred and one percent sure about her.

Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to months, time went on and on.

"Magtatapusan na. Ano kaya kung mag drop ulit ako ng isang subject."
bulong ko sa hangin habang siya naman ay sinusuklay sy sinusuklay ang buhok. God, lying on her lap makes me feel extra special. Her soft and gentle hands that are on my hair made my heart at peace.
"Ha? Bakit mo naman iyong gagawin? Sayang kaya, ilang araw na lang yun mula ngayon. Ako nga gustong-gusto ko na rin gumraduate."
Tumayo ako at hinarap ko siya.
"Gusto ko kasing sabay nating matatanggap ang diploma habang nakatuga tayo."
She smiled and blushed. I love it when she turned red like a ripe apple.
"It's okay kung hindi tayo sabay. Ayoko namang huminto ang oras mo para sakin."
I pulled her closer and gave him a tight hug.
"I love you." I said to her.
She also hugged me with the same intensity.
"I love you too."

Everything were going smoothly pero isang araw bigla-bigla na lamang siya hindi nagpakita sa akin. I thought that she is just playing around but I was wrong. She's not texting and her phone cannot be reached.

I don't know what to do. Kaya pumunta ako sa mansion nila. Ayaw akong papasukin ng mga guwardiya kahit anong pilit ko.
I do not want to give up, especially now na alam kong mahal niya rin ako.

I saw a car approaching, the window opened and it was the Governor, her father.
"Papasukin mo."
Sinunod naman nila agad ang utos nito.

And from that point I know that I'll be facing hell. But I am not afraid, I will never be afraid for her.

"Leave my daughter alone."
Yan agad ang katagang binitawan niya nang makatungtong ako sa pamamahay neto.
"I am sorry Sir but I cannot do that."
Mariin akong tiningnan nito.
"How much? Huh? Sabihin mo kung magkano ang kailangan mo?"
"I do not want your money Sir. Malinis po ang intensyon ko sa anak niyo. I love her."
Napatawa naman ito ng mapakla.
"Love?! How can you know the real meaning of love kung hindi mo nga nakitang nagmamahalan ang ama mo at ang nanay mong kabit?!"
Those words made me run towards him and grabbed on his polo's collar.
"Wag mong madamay-damay dito si Mama."
Napaismid at bahid sa mukha nito ang pagkadisgusto sa akin.
"Wag mo ring madala-dala dito ang masahol mong pag-uugali. You don't deserve my daughter."
I let go of his collar.
"I may not be deserving for her but I'll make sure that I am worthy of her love."

Pagkatapos nun ay umalis na ako. I tried finding her. Nagtanong tanong na rin ako sa mga kaibigan at kaklase niya but they all said na hindi daw nila alam kung nasan ito.

I totally felt like a useless brute. Hindi na ako maka kain at maka tulog dahil sa sobrang pag-aalala, ni hindi na nga ako naka attend sa aming graduation. Everybody taught that I would come since I was going to give my speech as the Suma Cum laude in our program, pero para kanino ko pa naman ang sasabihin ang speech ko kung wala na nga yung natitirang importanteng tao sa buhay ko?

I walked and my feet found the most memorable places that I have been to, the park, kung saan niya ako sinagot.

It was 11th of March and it was one of the best days of my life. We sat here, on this old bench under a lamp post. Memories came flasing back, her sweetest yes, our first kiss and our first set of I love yous.

I was deep in my thoughts and my eyes started to water when a hand tapped my right shoulder.
"Hey."
I raised my hand and touched her cheek to confirm if I am dreaming or not.
"Where have you been? Alam mo bang alalang-alala ako. You--"
Natigilan ako magsalita dahil bigla niya na lamang ako niyakap.

"I miss you so much."
Napangisi ako tapos mas hinigpitan ang yakap dito.
"I miss you too. Please lang sa sunod 'wag mo na akong pagtaguan. Para na akong mababaliw eh."
Hinawakan neto ang magkabilang pisngi ko.
"Sorry, I just need time to think."
I held her hands at pinaupo ko ito sa tabi ko.
"Ano namang pinag iisapan mo?"
Ngumiti ito at sumagot, "I am thinking about our future."
Pinasandal ko yung ulo niya sa balikat ko.

"May magazine company na nag offer sakin ng trabaho sa New York. Hanggang 5 taon ang kontrata. Kala ko nga hindi na ako nakapasok but someone emailed me, saying that I got the job. Buti na lang nagustuhan nila yung mga kuha kong litrato."
Hindi ko maiwasang matuwa dahil sa good news ko dito. But the thing is, ayaw ko siyang iwanan.
"Great. Malaking oppurtunity na yun for you."
"For me? I am not doing that para sakin. Gagawin ko yun para sayo. I want to be worthy of your love."
Tiningan ako neto ng ilang segundo tyaka ulit nag salita.
"You are worthy. Stop thinking about negative thoughts about yourself."

Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako.
"So, are you going to New York?"
"Gusto mo ba pumunta ako? If sabihin mo na ayaw mo ako pumunta then hindi talaga ako pupunta. What's your decision?"
Nanlaki ang mga neto which I found so damn cute.
"What?! Are you kidding me? Of course gusto kitang pumunta dun. That's a very big oppurtunity ahead of you. Bakit mo naman idedepende sakin? Sira ka talaga. Tyaka I am also planning to take Medicine, actually yun nga yung reason kung bakit hindi ako nagpakita sayo baka kasi magalit ka. I know naman na may mga plano na tayo but ... I really, really want to pursue my dream first. Perhaps, this is the right time."

"Are you breaking up with me?"
Nanghina na yung boses ko.
Niyakap ko ulit ito ng sobrang higpit na para bang yun na ang huli. I burried my face on her neck.
"Please don't leave me. Please, I can wait for you pero please lang 'wag mo naman akong iwan."
Isang malakas na tawa ang narinig ko mula sa kanya.
"Ha? Bakit naman ako makikipag break ang nega. mo talaga."
Kinurot niya ang ilong ko.
"I am not breaking up with you but I think we need to bid our goodbyes, for now.We'll see kung anong ang mangyayari 5 years from now."

I caressed her cheeks.
"Wait for me okay?"
It's not a question, it's a request. I want her to wait for me. Sana kami pa rin.
"Yes, I'll wait for you."

We ended our conversation with a sweet kiss.