Silence No More

02. Mr Ambrose Takes Charge

"Eeeeaaaaaagh!"

Thud!

If you've ever wondered what a falling doctor hitting the ground sounds like—that was it.

Dusting off his hands, Mr Rikkard Ambrose turned back towards the room. His gaze swept over the assembled strangers, daring them to say something. Then it found me.

"Do you need any more fresh air, Mrs Ambrose?"

"Um...no. I don't think so."

"Adequate."

With a click, he closed the window, and then focused all of his attention on the remaining doctor in the room.

"Now you're in charge. Give her something!"

"Y-yes, Mr Ambrose, Sir! Right away, Mr Ambrose, Sir!" The doctor, who right now was clearly wishing he had chosen a less dangerous occupation—such as safari tour guide, or arctic explorer—rushed towards his bag. Moments later, he was back with various implements.

"H-here you go, Madam. The latest discovery in anaesthesia, guaranteed to work! Chloroform has been recommended by a renowned professor of midwifery from Edinburgh University."

"Chloroform?" I wheezed, sending my husband a grin. "Sh-shame on you, Mr Ambrose! Shame on you! You don't even use your own products? Where is my cocaine?"

"Far away from any pregnant women, I should hope," was the answer of my cruel, cruel husband. "Doctor? Get to it!"

"Yes, Sir!"

A moment later, something was lowered over my mouth and...oh....ahh...

That feels nice...!

Why had I been so scared of giving birth? Giving birth was fun! Giving birth was awesome! And look! The little yellow piggies had come to keep me company! Wasn't that nice?

"Ohhh..." I crooned, raising one hand to wave at them. "Hello there!"

Mr Ambrose cocked his head. "Hello?"

"Are you staying in a nice and comfy pigsty? I hope you've got plenty of straw."

Slowly, Mr Rikkard Ambrose turned towards the younger physician. "Doctor...are you sure you used the correct anaesthesia?"

"Y-yes, Mr Ambrose! Absolutely sure!"

"Little yellow piggies...pretty yellow piggies everywhere!"

Mr Rikkard Ambrose sent the assistant doctor an arctic look. For some reason, he seemed to be displeased with the young man. I wondered why? Everything was so nice and beautiful and happy! Especially happy! Beaming, I waved at the little yellow piggies in the corner, and in response, they waved back and started an impromptu dance performance of the Three Little Piggies.

Yay!

"Lock the door!" I ordered my dear husband. "Don't let the big, bad wolf get in!"

"Hm...all right. I shall have it seen to immediately. We wouldn't want the...wolf? The wolf to get in, after all. Doctor? Close the door!"

I beamed. Didn't I have a spiffing husband?

"And Doctor...we're going to have a little chat once this matter is concluded."

The doctor swallowed. "Y-yes, Mr Ambrose, Sir!"

Somewhere in the background, Nurse Selby gave a squeak and ducked down farther behind her shelf.

Hm...I wonder what that was all about?

Meh, not that it mattered. The little yellow piggies' performance was just about to reach the best part, where the little piggies go hunt down an arms dealer to buy guns and blow the wolf's brains out! Yippee!