The Valkyrie: Short stories and One shots (Obi-Wan FF)

A new beginning

Wooohooo! First update since my disappearance! First chapter of whatever this is going to be! Let's see how many of you are left ;) Have some self-indulgent angst while I continue with my life after writing this in a single evening.

"Lyanna?" His voice was the first thing to cut through the chaotic storm that was raging through her head. It had been bellowing for approximately 4 hours now, most of which she'd spent sitting on the floor of the hospital's bathroom, staring at the wall and breaking down completely with nothing there to patch her together again.

She remembered the exact ways the tiles looked. Where the crevices were, the slight damages. She could even remember several spots that covered the lower ones and created a pattern of dust and sand. The occasional sounds and beeps from the machines in the rooms adjacent to the bathroom rang through her head now, imprinted there, as they had repeated over and over.

Those patterns had distracted her from her own emotions, from her own turmoil as she plunged ever deeper into the abyss. But it hadn't been enough to mask all of it and soon Obi Wan would find out she was breaking apart. He would see through the wall she'd put up between them in their bond and see the chaos wreaking behind it. He would get worried and seek her out, putting not only herself but all of them in danger.

Her cheeks were still smudged with the black coal that had previously been perfectly shaping her eyes, the whites now reddened and swollen. There were tracks where tears had been gliding down incessantly and her nose had turned a shade of red almost similar to the colour of her hair. There were smudges of makeup un the sleeve of her white coat, splatches of water that showed the evidence of her breakdown.

She couldn't even remember how she'd gotten home. Judging from the way her hair was now sticking out at every end, she'd travelled on her speeder bike but with none of the protective gear she usually wore. Instead, her white coat had now turned a soft brown due to the dirt and dust from the dessert. Apparently, in the chaos, she'd left it all behind at work. Maybe she'd even left her brain there, judging from the way she couldn't even form one coherent thought.

"My darling, is that you?" His worry was apparent in his voice. No wonder, given the fact that for the first time in the two years they'd lived on Tatooine she'd come home before 2 pm without sending word about it first.

Their life had finally reached a balance. They had accepted their new roles, the new world they lived in and the things they had needed to leave behind. Their grief was still with them every day but they had managed to give it a place in their hearts and their daily routines.
They weren't stricken with either remorse or desperation, hatred or vengeance. They weren't looking for a way out or a way to turn everything to the way it had been before. There was no more looking for mistakes, for new things to blame themselves for. No, they had each other, and for a while that had been enough.

Until that morning.

Everything would change. Their carefully obtained balance, that breakable and precious thing, it would slip right out of their grasp again. They would tumble and fall and they would have to do it all over again. Built it all up from the scraps that would remain. Perhaps they might not even find a new balance, perhaps this was the beginning of their end. Perhaps this small period of happiness had been all they were able to afford in a lifetime, and now it was over.

Lyanna let out a desperate soft whine, unable to prevent it from escaping. Her hands were trembling and her legs were fighting to keep herself upright. She fell back against the door and thus closed it with a loud thud, laying her head back against the cold material and closing her eyes. Fresh tears slid down her cheeks as she bit her lip to keep herself from crying out.

She didn't even know how to begin to explain it to him. Where to begin, how to bring the news. She wasn't even sure how she herself felt about it, for she had spent the entire time worrying about everything and anything and not about what she herself wanted.