𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 ❀ 𝙏. 𝙁𝙪𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙪𝙧𝙤 ❀

VI - Alone Time

"This again?" Toji murmurs. It had only been two days and Y/n was back in a depressive state. Toji had shown her kindness after kindness and she still had a dreadful attitude. "What is the matter with you?" He asks, standing up from his seat and facing Y/n.

"Nothing Sire?" She says. Toji begins to walk over to her, once he is positioned directly in front of her, he crouches down to meet her at eye level. "I have done nothing to you, as of recently I've quite honestly been nothing but kind. The only punishment I've ever given you was for your own wrongdoing, and even then you were left unharmed. I do not see anything I have done that would cause you the slightest bit of distress. You are well fed, and clothed, with outings, an entire palace to your disposal, and even your own bedding and bathing chamber. I cannot possibly comprehend any reason for you to be upset." Toji says.

"I'm sorry sire, It really is nothing. I'm just trying to acclimate myself to the palace lifestyle, is all." Y/n says. Toji grunts and sits back down.

Though Y/n claimed to be remorseful, it didn't seem like it. Her glum behavior continued throughout the week, and soon Toji reached his breaking point.

"Get out." He spits. "Huh?" Y/n sputters out. "Get out of my sight. If I have to see that look on your face one more time I'll slice it off." He says ordering Y/n out of the room. She quickly takes heed and exits the room. She had never been told to go like that. The emotion she felt was quite odd, It was as if she could cry but her own body was rejecting the sadness. Her heart was pained, but her brain was enraged. It left her with an emotion she could only describe as...well, I'm not sure how to describe it at all.

-

There wasn't much to do In my chamber.

I could sleep, read, and bathe. That was all.

A maid would bring me my food and I sat in bed for most of the day. I wasn't sure how long I would be forced to stay cooped in here, but the King sounded mad. I don't doubt he'd kill me if he saw my face again, but just sitting in this room was definitely not curing my depression. After my breakfast came in a thought maybe a bath would put me in a better mood.

The breakfast itself was amazing, the fluffy tan cakes were riddled with blueberries and had this sweet syrup on top. There were broiled eggs and ham slices with it. The plate was served with a healthy glass of freshly squeezed juice and lavender petals. I ate it happily until the plate was cleaned, as I always did. Food was my sanctity, something sweet could always lift my spirits. I felt ready to return to the King, but I still wanted my bath first.

I ran hot water into the large soaking tub and poured in a flowery-scented soap. I sloshed my arm in the water so bubbles would foam at the top. I got undressed and submerged myself in the water. I felt the bubbles crowd my back as my chin rested right above the surface. The tub was so big, my entire body could fit in with ease. I hadn't been able to stretch my legs in a bath since I was young. It was quite relaxing, just as I'd hoped. I tried to forget where I was and what I was doing. I thought of my mother and father, the house I grew up in. I tried to imagine myself in that bathtub, safe and happy.

I can see the wooden bathroom cabinets and the delicious smell of my mother's cooking filling the air. Outside I can hear the sound of wood chopping and birds chirping as the sun beamed onto my skin through the open window. I wished to hear my little name again. It had been so long since I'd heard honey. The sound of the name was sweet itself. It was a dense syrupy name. For a moment I could hear it, my name. Honey, I could hear it in the distance. I could feel myself chasing the name, wondering who it was that was calling me. Perhaps my mother telling me I've been in for far too long, or my father calling me out to the yard to check for eggs in the hen's nest. He always said I had a good gentle hand.

For a moment my face felt warm and wet. like the sweat and dew on my face were melting down, drawing me deeper into the tub. I felt so light, I always felt light when I was in the water when my body sunk down only to float back up. Soon the image of my old bathroom faded, the sound of my name did too. In an instant, it got so incredibly dark. I no longer wanted to daydream, how could I when It was pitch black? But no matter how hard I tried to wake up, darkness continued to pull me back.

Eventually, I lost the will to fight against the dark and I allowed myself to sit in it. I tried to dream in darkness and embrace the black curtain underneath my eyelids. But it was hard to do. I needed warmth and light to think happy thoughts. But it was getting darker and darker. In the far distance, I could hear a loud thrash, suddenly I was cold. I tried to curl my body in but I no longer had control over my limbs. The relaxation fled my body and I grew stressed. My body shivered and loud noises continued to cry around me. The warmth of my bath was ruined. Now I really wanted to wake up.

There was a heavy weight pressed onto my chest and this burning pain filled my lungs as my eyes opened and water poured from my nose and my mouth. It was such a violent pain, but it was familiar. I'd felt it once before when I was 12. I almost drowned, it caused a big panic in my village. I told myself I would never again scare people because of something so trivial, but I fear I've done it again.

When my vision unblurred and I could breathe without a sharp pain drilling at my chest I realized I was no longer in the tub; I wasn't even in the bathroom, rather I was on a small daybed with a cool towel draped over my forehead and a warm blanket underneath my chin.