Cradle of Joy

The Insecurities

Its been a while since vanishka is really cranky. She was not even having her milk properly. All she did is cried vigorously while feeding.
“Baas beta bass   ……..kyu ro rahe ho” Haseena warpped her in her arms patting her back to sooth her.
Haseena picked her up in her arms and moved downstairs.
“Arre, kya hogya humari ladoo kyu itna ro rahi hai….”Maa said worried.
“Haan behen ji dekhiye roo roo k pura lal ho gai hai….”Ammi said taking her from haseenas arms.
“Maa ami yeh kab se ro rahi hai..chup nai hori, aur doodh bhi nai peri hai…jaise hum isse doodh pela rahe hai tho bas roye jari hai” Haseena said worried.
“kahi iske peth me dard tho nai” Maa said carssing her head.
Ammi slightly massaged babys tummy but she she guessed that problem was not with her tummy.
“Nai bhen ji lag tho nai raha hai…”Ammi noticed snoring sounds while vanishka was breathing
“Bhen ji isse sardi ho gai hai…dekhiye ..issyle yeh dang se sasnai le pari..aur feed bhi ni le pari hogi…
bechari bachi bhook me rori hai” Ammi said.
“beta tuje kaha than a dhyan dene k lie…uss din bhi kha tha ki isse 5 min bhi bina sweater ya kapdo k mat rakna aur kal anubhav isse bina sweater  k balcony me leke baitha tha ” Maa scolded haseena.
“Maa sweater phenane pe bahut chidchidi hori thi issyle thodi der k lie maine nikal dia tha”
“haseena kya beta…bachi k sath yeh laparwahi nai chalti beta….bahut najuk hai abhi vo” Ammi added.
Haseena nodded  regreating.
“Anu sham ko ayega tho isse doctor ko dikha do, tab tak jaa istri aur kuch napkin lee aa…kapde ko garam istri kark isse thoda sek dege thoda aram milega isse…” Maa said.
Maa and Ammi  crassed vanishka with warm patches of cloth which gave her a little relief.
She stopped crying while Haseena sighed.
“Beta abhi thodi der bad isse feed kar k dek…filal isse sula de…garam sek se iska nak khul jayega tho rahat milegi…aur isse aaj bistar pe sulana apne pass..jhule mat sulana…jaa isse upar le jaa aura ram kart u bhi..”Ammi said
She nodded weakly and took vanishka  to her room.
Haseena placed her on bed and was gently carssing her forehead. She was adoring her little princess.
“humari bachi….bhook lagi hogi apko….”Haseena was disappointed with her own silly mistake.
2 hours later, Anu entered the room and saw vanishka was asleep. She was In Haseenas arms and she  to had snuggled into her ammis arms. Haseena was lightly patting her back.
“Kya hogaya haseena…aaj yeh iss waqt pe soi hai….voh bbhi apke god me apse lipat kar….tabiyat thik hai na” Anu asked concerned.

"nai Anubhav...isse bahut sardi ho gai hai...app jaruri meeting me thae aaj tho maine apko call nai kia..." She said softly.
"Bahut taklif hia kya gudiya ko..... doctor k pass chalte hai.."
Anu said.
"Ji.. hum app hi ka wait kare thae...Ek bar doctor ko dika dete hai... bechari humari bachi...sardi k vajah se thik se sas nai le pari... na dang se feed le pari hai.." haseena said painfully.
Anubhav noticed Haseena's anxiousness.
"Haseena app chinta mat kijiye....Chal rahe hai na doctor k pass...thik ho jayegi guddi....app Doctor ki file nikal dijiye....Tab tak hum gudiya ko ready karte hi" Anubhav said Taking Vanishka from her arms.
"Anubhav....rehenedi dijiye isse humarr pass....aaj tabiyat thik naj hai iski tho vaise hi pareshan hai ... chidchidi hori hai...khas kar hume nai chod rahi...app isse uthaege tho kahi phir na rone lag jaye....
Phele hi ro ro kar bura hal tha iska..." Haseena said worried.
"Are nai roegi haseena....Humare pass kabi roti hai kya ...app file nikal dijiye aur Ready ho jayiye...." He said taking vanishka.
As soon as she felt the lack of her mother's warmth she started crying vigorously.
"Are kya hua gudiya... dekho baba...." He said tapping her.
"Dekha anubhav... khaha  tha na humne app se...! Phir rone lagi... already aaj itna ro chuki hai...app bi na " she said Frustrated taking her from his arms.
"Aww aww..naa meri jaan...bas bas...dekho ammi...yahi hai...." She said crassing her back wrapping her in her arms.
Anubhav's face fell down! But he understood that she is Frustrated and worried due to Vanishka' s health.

~~~~
"Kya kaha doctor ne" Maa and ammi asked anxiously.
"Doctor ne antibiotics die hai...isse jaldi relief milega" Anubhav said.
"Haseena tu beta guddi ko le kar upar ja...mae tera khana upar Bejwati  hu....tum dono upar hi kha lo..." Maa said.
"Hmmm " she nodded weakly.
Ammi noticed haseena was really anxious about something. Many things were rolling in her mind.
Haseena placed Vanishka in her arms and tried feeding her.
She was lost in her thoughts.
Ammi came with a plate of food. She kept it on the side table and sat beside haseena....
She was watching Vanishka struggling to have milk as her nose was packed and she was not able to drink milk as she was breathing from her mouth.
Seeing her daughter struggle with basic chores ! Due to her silly mistake made her More angry and anxious about herself.
"Tu apni bachi ko bhuka nai dek pari....tho hum apni bachi ko kaise bhooka dek sakte hai" she said feeding her a bite. She smiled teary eyed and had the bite.
"Itna pareshan mat ho beta..
yeh tho ek choti si bat hai....abhi tho na jane aur kya kya utar chadav ayege...aur meri haseena aise kaise itnni kamjor ho gai...jo iss choti si chiz se itna pareshan ho jaye ..."  Ammi said consoling her.
She nodded weakly wiping her tears.
"Kya hua haseena....app" Anubhav was worried about watching her in tears.
"Are kuch nai beta...Subh se vanishka roo rahi hai na....aur thik se peth nai bahra uska .. issyle thodi pareshan hai ...."Ammi said tapping her cheek.
She smiled weakly.
She finished feeding her and picked her up for making her burp...!
After a few minutes she burped but she immediately placed her on bed  and she vomited.
"Mch...haseena...beta burp nai dilwai ache se..." Ammi said picking her up and cleaning.
"Ammi burp tho di na isne ... phir kyu...vaise hi aaj dang se doodh nai pe rahi aur ulti kar di..." Haseena said anxiously.
"Beta burp dilwane k bad turant bacho ko nai letate... kuch mint rukte hai...." Ammi said changing vanishka's dress.
"Layiye Ammi hum change kar dege...app apni beti ka mood ka change kariye tab tak" Anubhav chuckled to lighten her mood.
He changed the baby's dress while haseena was  really lost.
"Kya ho gaya betoo..." Ammi said nudging her cheek.
"Ammi...Maa bane k bad yeh kuch jyada hi over protective mom ! Ban gai hai....choti choti chizo me Pareshan hona hai...aur Super mom bana hai... ek dam perfect..." Anu said.
"Par kaha kuch kar paa rahe hai....Anubhav..Ammi hum itne silly mistakes kare hai ....shayd humne dyan nai dia ....dang se...phele tho isko delivery premature huu...iss vajah se humari bachi ko kitni taklif hui..." She didn't understand when...but she started crying...
Anu and Ammi got worried
"Haseena.../janaa..."
Ammi and Anubhav said consoling.
"Ammi phele din pe hi...humari bachi ko injection's lage thae...Humari nanhi si jaan ko oxyegn mask lagay tha... incubator me thi itne din....sab humari vajah se..."She cried.
The little Of Vanishka's health has triggered her past anxiety!
Which she had kept deep inside for many days...
"Hum bahut koshish kare hai...par shayd bar bar hum koi na koi silly mistakes kar hi rahe hai....uss din bbi Diaper ki galat size k vajh se rashes ho gae thae...uss din hum isse chod kar bahar chale gae tho yeh dar gai...aaj humne dyan nai dia issyle aaj bimar ho gai....Sas bi nai le pari humari bachi dang se...Na doodh pe pa rahi hai...aur itni mushkil se doodh peeya tha...Voh bi ulti kar di..." She cried...
It may seem she was overreacting or overwhelmed for the moment ....but these little things added to her insecurities...A question mark ... whether she will be able to make it as a good mother?
"Haseena beta...thoda shant ho ja....dekh tu roegi na...Vanishka aur roegi....Bache maa se jude hote hai beta...mat roo...." AMMI Said crassing her cheek.
Ammi hugged her and she rested her head on Ammi's chest. Ammi let her be there
..ammi blinked anubhav to assure that she will be fine in a while.
Soon her breath got normal! Ammi was gently tTapping her !
"Ammi....kabi kabi tho hume lagta hai ki hum ek achi ammi hai bhi ya nai...ya ek achi maa ban paege ya nai...hum se kuch nai sambal raha ...silly mistakes kie ja rahe hai" She said teary eyed.
"Haseena...tu kab se itna jaldi har mane lagi...meri beti ne harna sikha hi nai hai...aur rahi bat ek achi maa bane ki .. beta voh tho tu har din ek naye experience k sath...har din sikhegi....Har mod pe ek sikh milti hai...kabi hum bacho ko sikate hai..ya kabi bache hume...aur tu akele kaha hai.... Anubhav jaisa itna  pyara Jeevan sathi hai
..yeh safar tho dono ka ...aur hum aur bhen ji tho hai hi...tum dono ko smay samay pe rah dikane k lie....tu kyu chinta kari hai beta ....phele bache k waqt har maa ko yeh Bhavana ana lazmi hai ki kya ek ache maa ban paege...aur yeh silly mistakes har koi karta hai....karege nai tho sikhoge kaise...hmm..." Ammi smiled.
She sighed and nodded
"App chinta mat kijiye haseena...hum log sath mil k ....Humari vanishka ko bahut achi parvarish dege...
Han galatiya hogi....Lekin ammi aur maa haina...hume kan pakad k sikane k lie ..aur abhi mili hui training dusre bache k waqt bi kam ayegi na..." Anubhav Chuckled while Haseena blushed at his statement! Ammi gave a teasing look.
"Dekh rahi ho gudiya...Apke baba abbi se apki bhai bhen ki tayari karr hai..." Ammi chuckled and Vanishka started crying!
"Aw mera bacha...na....koi bhai bhen nai ayega abbi" Haseena smiled. "Kya anu app bi" she nudged him.
"Acha tum dono vanishka ko dawai pela do...aur aram karo....hmmm...hum chalte hai" ammi said leaving.
"Hum dawa lekar ate hai " haseena said while anu is  busy playing with his daughter.
She took the medicine in the measuring cup and tried feeding Vanishka...but due to the bitter taste she started crying.
"Na mera bacha...bas thoda sa...pls pee lo...." She said !
"App pareshan mat ho iye ..hum koshish karte hai..." Anu smiled and he started making funny faces... tickling her with his nose....to keep her mind diverted and he managed to make
Her drink the medicine...she cried for a moment but he distracted her again.
Haseena looked at anubhav with A proud smile.
"Sath mil kar hum sab kar lege haseena....App pareshan hona band kariye bas...Yeh insecurity hona jayaz hai... humare sath bi hota hai...Lekin phir hum bas yeh sochte hai ki app humarr sath hai...aur yeh sath hi sab kuch hai... thoda plus minus kar k...hum sikh tho lege..."he smiled...
Haseena smiled teary eyed. how he put a  leash to all her insecurities! She kissed his forehead deeply.
"Thank you" she smiled.
"Isse kam nai chalega...." He said teasing.
"Tho Vanishka k baba...kya chiye apko" she said coming closer and whispered in a husky voice which gave rise to his manly hormones.
"Vanishka k sone k bad hume humara meetha chiye" he Smiled inwardly.
His innocent puppy face was her weakness.
"Tho sulaiye apni Rajkumari ko phele.... Phir sut samet apko apka meetha mil jayega" she pecked hai lips lightly and smiled moving towards the washroom for changing.
He lay down on bed and placed vanishka over him warping her in his arms and tapping her gently. He started humming her favourite tune....
Soon both Felt asleep! The warmth they Personified to each other was sheer bliss.
Haseena came from the washroom  watching  this blissful sight...!
She adored his handsome Mr and her princess!
She carefully took vanishka from his arms and placed her on bed wrapping her with a blanket. Kiss their foreheads and lay down beside them watching and adoring them...and soon Slumber took over her watching this blissful sight.