Tw sh and Blood
Zei's pov
The lunch bell rang, and the teacher dismissed us for lunch. I waited till the swarm of people got out, the shuffling of feet. I slowly got up, putting my English assignment in its binder in my bag. My teacher Ms Henderson gave me a sweet smile before saying "Have a wonderful day Zei," I gave her a compliment about her mug and then walked out the door.
I walk to the women's bathroom to find it surprisingly empty then take the middle stall. Setting
I drag the small blade against my wrist, blood bubbling again the fresh cut, is deeper than the rest. My breath hitched as the pain of the cut settled in. More cuts and a few shaky breaths later, I looked at my damage. My arm looked like I murdered it, it felt nice. I'm looking at my thighs and the healed scars. I deserve this. I take the blade and cut my thighs till I don't have any feeling in them. I'm glad that I wore baggy jeans.
I unrolled the thin school tissue paper and placed it on my arm, cleaning up the wound. threw the tissue away and grabbed another, then another. After the bleeding slowed down I blew some air on the wound, making me hiss with pain and throwing my head back. I got up slowly got up, threw the rest of the tissues in the toilet, and flushed down my evidence. I put the blade in my mini bag then slowly got up, I got too lazy for cleaning the thigh cuts. I wish I had gotten deeper.
My girlfriend yelled at me for knocking down a vase a week ago. I mean I did and it looked like she was going to hit me. it was scary. I pull my sleeves down so people don't expect a thing.
(flashback)
"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," I said, my girlfriend was about to yell at me for knocking over a vase
"WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. WHAT ARE YOU A CHILD? YOUR SO FUCKING WORTHLESS." Eva screamed to me. She walked closer to me looking like she was going to hit me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered still shell-shocked.
"What did you fucking say you whore," she looked at my face, tears slowly going down my face.
"I'm sorry that I didn't mean to break your vase. I need to go, bye." I murmured her eyes glossed over looking with regret.
"Baby, I didn't mean it your my I can just buy another one. I-" she rambled, my ears started ringing louder than life. I should die.
"I think we should take a break," I said monotone.
"Zei, I didn't mean it I-" she started rambling again.
" I mean it Evelina," I semi-shout.
I felt her eyes on me watching looking at me. I got up and walked out the door. I should fucking die.
(present)
I walked to my lock, opening it to see a letter fly out. It had her writing on the front of the label. I picked up the letter putting the smooth material in my small black bag.
I'm walking to my last class. I have it with her. I had to sit next to her. 'you should kill yourself. No one even likes you. you're a worthless piece of shit that ruins everybody's lives.' My thoughts swirled in my head.
"Hey," Eva said. I looked at her, she still looked so beautiful.
I saw how her eyes look at my wrist and then my thighs. looking back at my face. Her eyes widened when she saw my clothes. She knew I self-harmed but I got free for her. then I would wear short dresses and skirts. now she looks at me she looks guilty.
"hi, Evelina," I said sitting down. I fidget with my black pants.
"How have you been since..." she stopped suddenly.
" I'm fine, just crying." I calmly mumble. Internally I was screaming.
Mr. Richards, he's nice but he's is kinda scary, sometimes he just sits next to me and is not at his desk.
At least he doesn't yell at me.
"Good morning class. Aren't you glad it's Friday? Anywho please go to page 420-"
___________________________
I was walking to my apartment, it was fairly close to the college I go to. I hear faint loud heavy metal music coming up behind me. I hope it's not her.
"Zei why don't you hitch a ride with me, baby," Avery shouted over the loud music. Thank Titan it's not Eva.
"No thanks, I need to get home," I answered.
"Awe don't be like that," The car slowly comes up. I walk faster feeling uncomfortable.
"Please no Avery, I'm tired."
"Fucking loser, no wonder Eva dumped your ass,"
" Sorry," I said.
_____________________________
I heard knocking on my door, who is it? I hope it's Fern. He's so nice to me.
"Coming"
I opened the door and I see Eva, my ex.
" Hey, I heard what Avery called you. How are you doing?" tears well up in my eyes. what the fuck is she doing here.
"My love,"
"Shut up please and let's go sit down" I murmured. She slowly followed behind me. I sat lazily on my bed and patted a spot for her.
"You hurt me a week ago,"
"I know"
"I felt like a burden"
"I know"
"I relapsed"
"I'm sorry"
"I know Eva"
I lay my head on her lap it felt so good, her long fingerings getting lost in my hair.
"this is nice" I mumbled
" I'm so sorry I should have never yelled at you for a vase"
"I know, you hurt me, Eva,"
"I'll do better I promise,"
As her hands massage my head my eyes droop closed.
"I love you," Eva said, I just snuggled with my head on her lap.
