tw sh and suicidal thoughts unedited
Maria's Pov
I lay in bed, soft music playing from my speaker. My door violently swings open, my mom glares at me. I sigh as to know what she's going to say.
"Maria, this room is disgusting. You need to clean it, or I'll take your stuff and you wouldn't want that. Would you?" her voice loud and vile, my throat tightens as to suppres my sadness.
"Yes, Mother. I will clean it in a minute." my eyes glued to the floor scared to look in her eyes.
"Look at me in my eyes, you're being disrespectful. How would you like it if I did that to you?" her voice echos on the walls. I swear she loves me.
"No i would not like it, sorry Mom." I look at her face, disappointment is all over her face. A big frown on her, face, her eyes beaming with disgust, her eyebrows are furrowed.
"That's what I thought." she huffs and walks away, leaving my door open. I sigh and get up to close my door, i turn around to look at my 'disgusting' room. Dirty clothes in the basket, my trashcan filled with trash, some trash littered the floor, my desk filled with dirty dishes that piled up on top of each other. I'm disgusting. How do I live like this. Tears well up in my eyes, I quickly wipe them. I can't be crying all the fuckin time.
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Hours go by, with me cleaning my room. The trash is took out, clothes are in the laundry room, my bed is made, the dishes are now clean and jn the cubbors, my floor is clean and clear. BANG! BANG! BANG! Loud pounding on the door, making me jump a little at the sound. I knew who it was, my mother's husband, my step father, Jack. He is horrible man, he drinks to much and made me cry so much in the past year. I can't even fuckin count.
"Come in." the door swings open the door handle hitting the wall, hard. I look at him his shaggy blonde hair and brown eyes. He's drunk, again.
"MARIA, YOUR ROOMS DISGUSTING. YOUR A SLOB, DONT WORRY ALL TEENS ARE SLOBS." he slurs his voice is shaky.
"Sorry , Jack. I'm cleaning it right now." he rolls his eyes and takes baby steps to be next to me.
" If you were a boy I would of hit you a long time ago." my eyes well up with tears but I suppress them for now. He's not going to see me like this again .
"I know Jack." my voice now shaky. I hate myself.
"Goodnight, Maria. Don't talk back to your Mother. ya hear?" his thick southern accent coming out.
"Yes, Jack. Good night Jack." His brown eyes peers into mine, he nods and pulls me into a tight hug. My breath gets knocked out of me as his arms sloppy wrapped around my chest.
He slams the door shut as he walks out. My throat bobs as a fast tear rolls down my face. Soft knocks are at my door. It's my mom. I wipe my tears, and open the door.
"Did you clean your room? If you didn't I'll take your laptop away." Her voice sharp as knifes.
I take a step aside for her to see my room. She sighs and begins to speak.
" Your room is still filthy. But I'll let it slide if you take a the dog out feed him and clean the house. " I nodded.
"Goodnight mom." she walks away.
Tears welled up jn my eyes again. I'm such a cry baby. I glance at my box, it was full of blades.
No one will care if you died not even your girlfriend.
I grabbed the box flipped the latch and lifted the opening; 6 shiny silvery small blades shine in my dim room. No one is around, I need realse. I plop on my bed set the , thenI hookes my small shorts pull them down to my knees.
