So first things first don't make fun of things I wrote over here because it's from the bottom of my heart .I want to confess somethings to you. Read the whole thing please ,even if you get annoyed . I don't know how to put it all in words. See the thing is that I am in love with you . I know that things aren't great between us right now but I am not ready to let go of you just yet . I am not overthinking but pouring my heart out to you . I am a hundred percent sure that there still something left between us because of which you are handling all my tantrums. I know that I have been going a little over the board about how you never have time for me and I always make time for us even after being in a boarding school and the fact that you are always around other girls. I am doing this because there was a time when all you did was care about me and no-one else. You wanted to spend your every spare second with me . I was always your first priority. And because of that I was getting really emotional about you . I know for a fact that all the people around you are really cool and hot and that I am not as good as them but I am the one who has your heart I hope. So I shouldn't be worried about these petty things. I have always trusted you in the past and I am trusting you now and I will continue doing that. At a point during our relationship there was time when we both just wanted to hear each other's voices. I know that it's getting a little rusty between us and I want to make it right . It was not easy to make me fall in love with you and you worked your way up to me and now it's my turn to do just the same for you . Although I felt really bad when you decided to completely remove me from your social media account and you decided not to wear my hair tie anymore. I am gonna make sure you come back to me . Now it's my turn to work my way up there to you . Tomorrow it's the 25th and it's going to be 9 months of us being together now . Since you won't be able to talk to me because of your freshers party I thought I'll write something for you . I don't wanna be a burden for you but a comfort zone instead. So here it goes just one of my fake scenarios of us:
We both are on a call and I am reminding you of all the times when I used to say that I can see myself in your eyes in the sunlight . After COVID when we met for the first time near the sports department exactly at 4:25pm. I miss all those times . It felt awesome when I hugged you and when you held my hand in yours but my personal favourite always has been and will be the part where I could see myself in your eyes and only me in isolation around you. I always avoided making eye contacts with you so that you don't figure out how much you mean to me because I was afraid that if you realise that you'll loose interest in me soon enough . I hated fighting with you almost every second day and I still hate it. Almost every time I feel like crying and whining about it on your shoulder itself. Your morning messages will never stop bringing the smile early when it's not AM but it's still not late. I still have some of those paragraphs saved in my notes. I also have the photos of my desks with your writings all over. Looking at them during Math always was a relieve for me, knowing the fact that someone else is worse at it than me . Whenever you come around all I want to do is pull you in from your collar for a kiss and maybe more. I love the way you look at me sometimes like the way you did on farewell and my birthday and so many other times. You look mesmerised by me when no-one else would feel that way but you do. I really felt like you and I belonged together when you had my hair-tie on your wrist when I needed in the pool and you offered it to me . Just then I say turn around Mark . You turn around and you stand there stunned for half a minute and then you grab me by my waist and hug me real tight . We stand like that for a long time . I say," MERRY CHRISTMAS MARK I TOLD YOU THAT NEXT CHRISTMAS I WANT YOU UNDER THE MISSTLETOE". You make me fall down for a dip you lean in and kiss me on my lips for a soft make out . You look me in the eyes and I know right in that moment that you love me and I love you .
