Endless

Part 5 "Mind in Nowhere"

The bus was quite. I opened my eyes again and looked In front of me. There was not a single person on the bus except Liam, the driver and me.

I turned to look at Liam. He was sleeping. His eyes were closed and his expression looked relaxed. I smiled unconsciously. What is he dreaming about?

I don't remember my dreams. Not since I was six or seven. I don't know why. I loved dreaming. It was like a hobby I used to have.

I would always come back from school and take a quick nap. To rest from the real world. Which was shit.

I remember that one dream. Where I was alone in the park waiting for something. I don't quite remember what I was waiting for, but it made my heart skip and gave me butterflies in my stomach. It was nice.

I took my earphones and played the first song I saw. The name of the song was called "#3". Quite relaxing. I think it's one of my favorites.

I stared at Liam. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. He looked different from before. In a good way. His chest would go up and down and I could hear him breathing.

I turned around embarrassed.

-Stop being strange!- I thought to myself.

I had never in my life thought of boys. I just didn't find human kind Interesting and especially not attractive. I just couldn't bother taking a single glance at them. I found most people annoying.

Maybe the reason I didn't like people was because I never got to know them. I mean, I did know June, but I never felt a conexión with her... I suppose I wasn't really into people in general. I thought of it as if it was stupid. A waste of time.

Now if I think about it now. It would have been nice to hold hands with someone, or hug in the night, watch movies together, laugh, cry... Stuff that couples do.

Even if I think about it really hard... That would never happen to me. Who would want to be with me? Me, Lizzy.

I sighed looking at my reflection. What was I doing? Only two days had passed and I didn't even know we're I was going. "You're acting like a teenager" that's what my mum would say if she knew about this.

Does she even know? Or worse, does she even care? She hasn't even called me. Maybe she's happier without me. Everyone is.

-Sigh, what can I do about it?- I said in a low voice.

I felt how Liam turned his head toward me. Suddenly I felt as if all my thoughts had disappeared for a second. I tilted my head toward his and let my head rest on top of his.

I then returned to my senses and raised my head. I then felt my head against the glass once again. Why was I being so clingy? It was awkward and uncomfortable. I looked at him one more time and made a decision.

With my hands I tilted his head against my shoulder, making him rest on it. I just stared directly in front of me, and waited for him to wake up.

If I can't be loved by those who raised me and thought they knew me, I will love and take care of the only person who understands and comforts me.

I felt my eyes close slowly, as if sleep was a person and was convincing my mind to go to another place. A place made out of darkness and emptiness. Nothingness, to be more exact.

I rested my head on the seat of the bus and let time pass. Time wasn't relevant. I didn't give a shit about it. The only thing that mattered was to get to the next stop.

Why?

Why not? It was something that I had to do. There is not a specific explanation. Like breathing. You just do it. Getting off at a random station was unconscious. The same as blinking. I just did it.