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Nova
It's Saturday and I was jus in bed bored laying down while major and Kiyah was at work.I had already finished my classes for today.
*aggressive banging on door*
WHO BANGING ON MY DOOR LIKE THAT!
"Who are you talking to like that young lady?"my ma said
I didn't know it was you but y are you banging on my door!and I said you didn't have to come here.Hey dad.
"Hey sweetie,how it been?" He asked putting all their bags down
"Stressful,what's all the bags for?"
"We're staying here until you get better."he smiled as my mom was putting hand sanitizer on! Ugh.I fixed my crunches position n went to the couch.
"I could make your crunches look wayy better than..that."my mom said
I don't need any new crunches these are good enough.so how long y'all staying?
"What did your father jus say"she popped me in my neck"
Don't touch me I'm not that little girl back then that let you run and beat on her!
"Y do you keep saying that! Your mother has never hit you."
Yes she did and you know this your jus afraid of her so you baby sit her b.s.
"Come upstairs little girl"my mom said devilishly
No. 1 I'm on crunches I can't be back in forth on my leg to much and 2 you think u gone hit me and you not. I chuckled
"Stop saying that nova!!"my dad yelled
Can y'all go already
"This fridge is empty what are you eating! This is unhealthy n I didn't raise you like that."
You didn't raise my at all
"THESE SLICK COMMENTS! IV'E HAD ENOUGH"My dad yelled then slapped me causing 1 side of my face to turn red.I held the tears back as my whole body went in shocked.
This was his 1st time hitting me since I was 6 & it's a reason y I never acted up in front of him.
"I told you to watch your mouth now look"my mom said laughing. "Anyways we're going to the store to put some food in this house." I got up to lock the door then went upstairs.Stopping at the top bc I became tired then I proceeded to the bathroom.this was nothing,either my mom my dad or my ex was hitting on me and I'll have to cover it up with makeup.
I went to the room n sat my crunches by the bed holding the bed to stand up
1 step at a time. I coached myself.But the back of my mind was saying otherwise.
I moved 1 leg,shaking until I got my balance then I moved the other leg.I fell on my arm.
AHHHHHH. I hate it here!! I fucking hate it! I screamed.Then tears began to flow heavily out my eyes.I want to become numb to the pain.I sat there for a long minute.
I got my crunches and went to the bathroom starting the water up for a bubble bath.I stared at myself hating the imagine.Flashbacks from my last relationship,mirah being disloyal,the night of the crash,going to therapy,my dad hitting me,my mom not genuinely caring about,the abuse she also did to me.
Everything was jus coming at once and I jus couldn't take it anymore.I filled the water and then cut it off once it got a certain height.Striping my clothes off as my mind continued to wonder.Who would be hurt if I was to go.I don't think anybody.Major would just find somebody else considering we been dating for a month now.And Kiyah had clearance on her side she'll be good.
I stepped into the bathtub enjoy the water temperature,I sat there for a moment listening to the silence.And then..I slowly started sliding down into the water.I finally reached the water and held my breathe-
"What the hell is you doing"major came & and grabbed me out the tub
Tears began to flow again but this time not as heavy like the last time.
Yo-you ruin it,U RUIN IT,U RUIN IT,Y WOULD U DO THAT!!
"Y was u tryna drown yourself are you crazy or slow!"major yelled back.ATP we were yelling back and forth.
I was finally gonna be at peace,u ruin it!!
"What do you mean,what's going on,and why is your face looking different?!"
So much going on and so much has happened today I don't wanna be here no more, I'm jus taking up space,it's no reason I should-
"Stop talking like that girl, u can't leave me,u deserve to be here jus like everybody else!! You here me?"
Nobody wants me here!
"I do,and others do to baby,I can't loose u.I'm not gonna loose you"the 1st time I seen major cry.He pulled me into a heart warming hug and held me like it was his last.
I'm sorry baby I was stressing all at on-
"It's ok we'll talk about it later jus relax and calm down"
We rocked back and forth until he dried me off and put me in bed and I wrapped my arms around his waist.we both fell asleep.Something we both needed.
I'll never do that again! My baby needs me here and he likes my here.
