Tales From A Wheelchair

Pick You Caregiver Carefully

One thing I realized after a year and a half of being in this condition is that one has to pick a caregiver carefully. See I learned quickly that there were people in my corner for reasons of their own. That didn't mean they didn't try but they put their interest first in some cases. After all the attention was gone. When it got real some of my caregivers couldn't handle the work.

One caregiver was a roommate I had before the wreck. We will call her Sharon* (Of course not her real name). If she saw me deep in thought, she would swear I was depressed. The truth was I was mulling over my surrounding and the people in it. I usually didn't get out of bed til 3 p.m. (Not by choice). Her son would help her get me out of bed. Then I was put to bed at 10 p.m. and there where times she was drunk off her ass (Ok the whole two weeks I was there). When I left Sharon's home I had a bed sore on my tailbone that was to the bone. Plus she was telling everyone we knew that I was crazy (And not the good kind).

So then I went to another caregiver's home. We will call him Cole* (Again not his real name). Cole and I were dating. I moved into where he was living. This means I got to know his mother, step-father, and sisters. Cole was who had discovered my stage four bed sore. He did everything he could to help it heal. Cole tried his best to get me medical help. For that I will always be grateful.

The point is that even though his mother and I tried to warn him that caring for me would be a lot of hard work, over a month's time he started growing to resent me. Cole swore it all was my fault but the truth was he couldn't handle it. He broke up with me and started seeing other girls while I was there. When we tried to talk he would mentally beat me up. Perfect example is when he told me that no one could love me in my condition. It was a blow that made me feel ashamed of myself.

Then things started lookiing up. My son's father, Austin* (I don't use his real name because he asked me not to) was going to come get me but I needed a place to go til then. My at the time ex Jose said I could come back. He said that he and his friend Besty would care for me and they did. They took awesome care of me. It was just awkward because Besty was the one who use to call when Jose and I were a couple. I am sure it made things hard for her in the end there. Especially while Jose and I were trying to settle things.

I didn't want to leave when I did but at the same time I wanted to be with my son. I rebonded with him over the next seven months, while his father made sure I healed. I did heal. My bed sores started heaing at a rapid rate but let's be real. You all didn't start reading this to heard about my bed sores.

The point is when I was down and out, I realized who were really there for me. I saw with open eyes who my real friends were in life. I also saw who were using me as an excuse because they just couldn't get it together and those who care for me just for attention. The point was that I saw people's true colors. So for those who are or may find thenselves in my condition to realize that they need to choice a caregiver. They may realize that the caregiver is the difference between life and death.