The Dark Side of Introversion and other stories.

TOO LATE FOR TRUE LOVE

Mike held the noose and placed it over his head, then roughly dragged it down to his neck. He looked down at the floor below him as hard tears gushed from his eyes. Then he turned to the ceiling and pulled on the rope to make sure it was tightened to the fan hook above. The chair he stood on was wobbly, and at a point he almost fell off but he quickly regained his balance, otherwise it could have ended all too quickly.

He was determined in his mission. He knew exactly what he wanted to do, but at the same time his conscience kept pricking him, asking him the same question over and over.

Is this how you want to end it?

His first answer was no. Of course he loved his life. He had everything to take care of himself and he never lacked anything. He never had much friends, but that had never posed any sort of problem to him. He worked for an architectural firm that paid him handsomely. He had an ambition to become a world-class architect. He had a dream of marrying a very beautiful woman.

That dream however, quickly became his worst nightmare.

He first met Lillian. A seemingly decent and pretty lady. Mike was introduced to her by one of his few friends and he immediately fell in love. Though he had no previous experience with relationships, he managed to woo her, and she got attracted to him. She was his first, and he vowed to keep her forever. She was an ideal caregiver, and she never demanded anything from him. At first it bothered him - the fact that she never asked him for anything - but he dismissed it, attributing it to the kindness and care she had for him.

Then, about three months into their relationship, Mike discovered Lillian was a part-time 'pleasure-giver', hooking up with rich guys for a living. For three months, she kept that dark part of her life a secret from him, and when he did find out, she had no remorse whatsoever, and it broke his heart into a million pieces.

It took him a while and effort, but he soon recovered from that heartbreak and quickly went out to search for a replacement.

Along came Nina. Gorgeous, elegant, Nina. She was apparently calm and had a good way with words. Mike fell in love immediately, hoping she'll be the one to mend his broken heart. She was an expert in the affairs of the bedroom, and Mike was given a taste of heaven whenever she came visiting.

Soon, it was Nina's Birthday. As a present, she demanded the latest iPhone from him. Mike wasn't sure his budget was enough to handle it, and when he told her he couldn't afford it at his current income level, she bombarded him with dehumanizing insults and blocked him out of her life.

Again, Mike was completely heartbroken. After Nina left, he vowed never to love again and focused solely on his ambition.

But then again he found love, this time in the form of Cynthia, whom Mike met when attending a colleagues wedding. Cynthia was as beautiful as she was talkative. She could speak faster than a cheetah could run, and she was a natural comedian. Her jokes always made Mike burst with laughter and that only fueled the love he had for her.

One day, Mike had introduced Cynthia to his work colleague, Douglas, and a week later, he found them together in bed.

On that day, Mike had been reprimanded by his boss due to his failure to submit a client's project on time. After work, he drove to Cynthia's apartment, hoping she would be able to alleviate his worries with her funny jokes and perhaps a good time in bed. The door was unlocked, and Mike knew she was in, which was surprising, as she told him she worked as a teacher. Perhaps she was I'll, Mike thought, and made his way to the bedroom, only to find the two of them naked, with Cynthia lying on Douglas.

Such a sight was enough to break the heart of any man. Shattered by this final betrayal, Mike returned to his one bedroom apartment and locked himself in. He finally gave up; this time, on Life. To him, the universe had proven he could never experience true love, and he was determined not to keep living in it.

He thrashed around his bedroom, smacking the walls and banging doors, absolutely regretting his life, and after a few more minutes of self-pity, he finally set up the paraphernalia he needed to end his life.

There he was, standing on the wobbly chair, neck in noose, ready to let go. He dismissed all second thoughts about his present actions and closed his eyes, this time for good. He lifted one foot up, ready to kick the chair he stood on away.

Suddenly, his phone rang in his pocket. He had totally forgotten it was there due to his current state of mind.

It rang again. It was his message ringtone.

He hesitated, thinking it might be an apology text from Cynthia, but after a while, he pulled it out and glanced at the screen.

It was a text from his mother.

He couldn't actually remember the last time he spoke with his mum. Wiping his tears off with the back of his left palm, he read the message:

"How are you doing, Michael? I felt a bit tense while thinking about you so I decided to text. I hope you aren't sick or anything but remember, if you need anything, just call me."

Mike's hand trembled and his phone fell out of his palm, unto the floor below. He screamed as fresh tears gushed from his eyes.

What the hell am I doing?, he thought. In his quest for 'true love', he had forgotten the one and only pure, genuine love ever to be found in this world.

For how on Earth could his mother, who lived kilometers away from him, feel that her son was going through a painful experience? Only one force was strong enough to make such possible. A mother's love. The ultimate love. The real true love. He was determined to throw his life away due to the actions of some random strangers, while forgetting the very woman who had given him that life. The woman who had nurtured that life, and shaped it into the perfect man he was today. His eyes widened, and in that moment he realized that his death, would have shattered her completely.

"Forgive me mother", he said aloud to himself, amidst sobs.

His phone began to ring again. Staring at the floor below, he saw that it was a call from his mother. Frantically, he reached for the noose on his neck in order to loosen it and set himself free. However, his balance was off. The chair beneath him wobbled terribly, and finally gave way under his feet.

As Mike desperately struggled to breathe, with the rope around his neck gradually crushing his larynx, his phone kept ringing, over and over and over.