You, only you

Forget

Happiness was such a distant feeling before you had entered my life

My brain wants me to forget this part of my life

But it doesn't understand that the origin of my content begins there

So I decided to sit down

And write

In hopes that I won't forget.

My mind is foggy

High on a thick dose of smog

Yet when I close my eyes

Your smile vibrantly appears in my mind

I told myself to be a cold person

To not be easily captivated by my emotions

To not be emotionally attached to anyone

I thought I had these values engraved into my mind

Yet I was so,

So,

So,

Wrong

I am a sensitive person

Scared to be hurt

Scared of being hurt

So I always think of the worst possible situation before doing something

In order to not get hurt if things goes wrong

But when it came to you

I pictured a future of us together

A bright one

A happy one

A future that I wouldn't be disappointed in

I tried to bring that future to light

Yet my past haunts and draws me back into the dark

I failed

It was fast but subtle

Like it was all planned before hand

I, remember so desperately pleading to god

"Oh please,

Oh please,

My lord and saviour,

Please.

Don't take my happiness away.

Don't take her away from me.

Please, please."

Yet, I was forcefully made to watch you slowly fade from my life

No matter how much I prayed or hoped

I couldn't

Because I can't

Intervene with fate

Or rather I could've

But I was too scared

Like a coward

Or maybe I just didn't now how to

But even if I spend months

Swirling and slicing up my brain just to think of a resolution

You were already long gone

I truly did think we would be friends forever.

The bitter sweetness that you have left on my tongue is unbearable

A small, simple year with your company eased my burdened soul

Yet my physical body was left forgotten in the corner to rot alone

When I had looked in to your eyes once again

No longer were the sparks present.

No longer were your content with me present.

I wrapped my body in ice cold water

Wishing to drown out this unbearable pain

Wishing to stop the scorching flames from charing my skin

The sound of agony echos through my hollow shell

It whispers what I fear under its breath

The truth

The undeniable truth

"That the broken relationship between us was a product of my idiocy."

I can't take it

I genuinely can't

Forget.

I want to forget

I stew myself in a pot of burning, putrid tar

I close my heavy eyelids

Your smile appears once again

Your sweet voice coats my ears in a layer of caramel

I really do love you

I really do

I want to touch your delicate hair

And gently caress your head like I used to

All to late

Time cannot reverse.

I sulk in regret as I awaken for the morning sun

Today will just be another repeating day